Illusion and Clarity

Well, I'm in the midst of problems at home and I'm not sure if it's a stress thing, since we are trying to move, or if it's time for me to skadaddle out of here on my own. Now, I'm not sure if I would help me to do a relationship spread or look more into me....

So I'm still deciding. I think I will do the Illusion and Clarity spread first and maybe that will shed some light on the whole thing.

The illusion that the Querent has about the situation
Well, at first glance, I notice 2 cards are flipped. The Knight and Temperance have been flipped. So this way his left hand is in the fire and the cup is offered from his right hand. This is strange because he had a "talk" about marriage again today. I've also talked about moving out today as well. I was in an awful mood. Ok, so this is my illuision... I think these cards switched to show him on the side of the dark horse. Because on the side of the light horse is the water and I see this side as good. Now here he is on the bad side, with me and dealing with me, all on fire. I fear he will realize that he doesn't need to be here and he will take his cup and leave for the good side, with a more "normal" woman. And I can't say that I would blame him either. I don't want to be here on the bad side and he certainly doesn't need to be here.

The true reality of the situation
All 3 of these cards are flipped and I can't say it makes much difference except for how the Phoenix and the Lion are facing. So, the reality... Well, the 9 of cups is there, oh so close, maybe it just needs for me to get a handle on my beast, my anxiety, and to put it behind me, hence Judgement. Perhaps the reality is that he is obviously still waiting for me to do these things. And maybe some of that reality is that it can be done.




Forces at work in the situation, which will help and/or hinder the Querent
Now only Death is flipped and that brings the scythe right down into the 3 of pents. This really says to me that I'm on the road to my recovery. Death and Wheel both point to that for me. And that little guy in the 3 is offering up a pentacle to death. What this also says to me is that whatever will be will be. Which is something I truly believe. I can't say that this relationship is meant to be forever because I don't believe anything is meant to be forever. But I see this also as meaning that if I work it, it will work. There are forces at work here that I may not know about.



The past
This one is a bit tricky. Temperance and Wheel around the 9 of Cups. This is quite fitting for me in the romance department. I've stayed in the middle of the road, never getting to close and pretty much staying with a partner until I feel it's time to move on. Or when they wanted more than I was willing to give. This is the first time I haven't felt that need to move on.






The present
I almost feel like this image is telling me to stop fighting. That with some love and care none of this will be an issue. This one has me confused most of all.








The future
Now the Phoenix seems to be encompassing both horses. And there's our little guy again with his pentacle. Perhaps the hard work I put into the Strength from the last set will allow me to become the person I want to be, in regards to my anxiety. Maybe then my horses will allign and all this will be over.


And now I'm exhausted so I'm going to let this settle in my head and see what pops out later.