Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Problem Spread.....

I really like this spread. It's so useful!

I thought it was significant that I've seen one of these images before. I think I'm beginning to understand what the Wheel has been trying to tell me.

What you think the problem is:
Star, Tower, 3 Wands

I like how the middle 3 is in the Star and the fire is in the Tower. I think the problem is massive and that there is no hope and that I haven't the energy to move beyond this. I am having trouble remembering the standard meaning of the 3, which happens a lot when I use this deck. The 3 is the waiting for the ships, right? I think I've done all I can and now I'm just stuck in limbo.

What the problem actually is:

5 Pents, Page Wands, Death

Now this is the image I have seen before! Remember the reading for how the anxiety group would turn out? Only Judgment has been replaced by that Page. So, the problem really is that I've uncovered that blockage and that is what has stolen my energy. Although, I can't say what I've uncovered, as I don't really know. I get the feeling that I am on schedule. That I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment. Which is what I think the Wheel has been trying to tell me. If you recall, the Wheel has been stalking me through this blog. I take this to mean that the problem is not as major as I think it is. Which is really weird since I've taken a very drastic downward spiral in past few months. My anxiety is worse than it has been in a long time. But perhaps it is always darkest before the dawn.

Solution to consider:

7 Swords, 7 Wands, Knight Cups

This is a drastic image for me. Our 7 wands is ever watchful and ever defending. But at what price? Look at that thief taking off with those swords! It's like I'm too busy fighting something to notice what is being taken from me. And there is that Knight, offering his cup. Full of love. This is reminding me of that breakthrough I had awhile ago. Where I realized that I created my anxiety to keep me safe. Only now I don't really need it anymore. This was my breakthrough of acceptance and knowing that I need to treat myself and my disorder with love if I am to get it to leave. I must teach that side of myself that I am safe now. That I am no longer that little girl and none of the people who hurt me are around any more. I am fighting ghosts.

Practical thing to do:

2 Pents, Knight Wands, 2 Swords

I like how those 2's are right on top of each other. My juggling and indecision. Trying to mix air and earth. Trying to quiet my logical, over-thinking mind and live in the now, in this body, moment to moment. And that Knight is just screaming of energy that I very much need right now and am severely lacking. I feel this image is telling me that the practical thing to do is what I've been doing. Only maybe step it up a notch.

Important Factor:

Hanged Man, 8 Swords, 7 Cups

I always see myself as that cocoon. All wrapped up in my safety zone. And that 8 is my anxiety. The 7 is the life I wish to have. This is an important factor! I have control here. I made this situation. I have let it control me for so long. Keeping myself hidden away, letting those swords keep me bound. I know it is a lie. I know this is not real yet I continue to live this way.

This deck is so amazing and just won't let me deceive myself. She's quiet blunt and talkative. I need to use her more.

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