Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Another Mind Blowing Reading.....

This week I decided to use a spread shared by our own KK!

"A Message from My Spirit Guide" Spread

What should I remember that I am forgetting?
Chariot, Queen Wands, 10 Cups

I find so weird that she is turning away from the dark horse to look at the family. Can you feel the love in this card? I feel like it's telling me that I am not alone. That there are people who care about me. Perhaps the two figures are my guides. And they are here, sending me love and watching over me, even if I can't see them. I really do see this as a confirmation of my spiritual beliefs. That the side of the light horse is normalcy, and the dark horse is life here on earth. I don't know if that makes sense but it is my belief that we are here for a reason, whether it be for our own good or the good of others, there is a reason. So, here I feel it's telling me that yes, there are things that I can't see and things I don't remember, but that doesn't mean it isn't there rooting for me. I'm finding it difficult to see myself as the Queen of Wands as she is the exact opposite of me. But perhaps this is a reminder that I do have that inside of me somewhere.

What is my Spirit Guide trying to tell me?
10 Wands, Moon, 5 Cups

I think it is important to note that the 5 of Cups is overshadowing the 10 of Wands. It also looks as if the 10 is trying to pick up the 3 up-right cups. Ok, there is a lot going on in this one. First, the third eye of the moon is the only eye open. I feel this is significant. Perhaps meaning that I need to pay attention to how I "see," or how I gather my intel. Not just by sight but through all my senses, especially when it comes from inside of me. I feel the 10 speaks to the burdens that I have in this life, mainly my anxiety but the rest of it too, and that I need to start reaching for those cups that are full.

What is the advice my Spirit Guide is giving me?
5 Wands, Page Wands, 10 Swords

This one is more difficult because of that 10 all by itself. I feel the Page is a message to learn to have fun instead of letting myself become so bogged down by all the fighting I do. It's a daily struggle for me to keep hold of my sanity, at least I think so. And I've been told, by an AT friend, that I need to not think of it as a fight. I believe I called it a fight to the death. That I need to look at it in a positive way, although I have not yet figured out how to do so. That 10 is still giving me trouble. I'd like to think that the worst has already happened. I've gone through my illness, my father, my rape, been abandoned by so many that I trusted. Who was it that said we create what we fear? Well, that is my life. I'm terrified to leave the safety of my home, I am constantly bombarded with anxiety throughout my day even when I am at home. My life is a mess and I see no way out but death. Perhaps I am at the 10, the worst is here, I am living it. It cannot get any worse. But still, my brain can think of new ways to torture me. So maybe the advice is to fight as that Page. This Page always reminds me of my nephew and how fearless and joyful he is. How everything is exciting and fun. I very much wish I could be like that.

What would be the outcome if I decide to follow this path?
Queen Cups, Page Pents, 3 Pents

Now this Queen I see as more of my psychic self, when I can reach it, which is about once a day during my meditation. When I am at peace and full of love and relaxed and receptive. Perhaps that Page is the lessening of my dependence on the physical world. I find that I am oftentimes too logical and too stuck on what I see with my eyes and touch with my hands. I can't help but think that 3 is my progress in the spiritual realm. I know, I've always known, that I am here to develop further. I think this is saying that if I am able to even live with my anxiety to the extent that I can still have a full life, that is all I need to progress.

Very insightful reading. I plan to do this spread a few times a year. It is quite an eye-opener.


  1. Great reading! Did I every tell you that you did enable me and I got a copy of the Transparent. I love how you used the composite image for each place. This is one aspect of the Transparent I am still dealing with and trying to understand!

  2. I think you read these beautifully. You're a constant source of inspiration to me.


  3. Great reading. :) I'm sorry if I came off negative in my comment about this sometimes feeling like a masochistic cycle... I was just at a low point. You reminded me of one of my favourite quotes:

    "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" ~ Clarence, from It's A Wonderful Life.

    That's what I usually believe: I don't think we can ever fully know what effect we're having on the world around us.

    I wanted to say more, but I have to get away from the computer.

  4. I do want to add this...

    "Well, that is my life. I'm terrified to leave the safety of my home, I am constantly bombarded with anxiety throughout my day even when I am at home."

    I've been there ~ I was agoraphobic for a long time, and still go through periods of constant anxiety. I've been over the agoraphobia for a few years now.. I don't know if you've ever tried flower essences (or if I've mentioned them before), but they're a part of what has helped me. One of my favourite sites is http://www.flowersociety.org ~ I mostly use essences from http://www.mastersessences.com. I've tried whatever I thought might help me at the time, but there are practitioners out there who are trained in choosing and mixing essences for specific problems that people are facing/dealing with. I know this can sound like woo-woo nonsense, but they've helped me a lot. :)