Blockage Spread....

Since I'm all about being blocked, blown up, hit on the head, dragged under a train.... let's see what will get me out of this funk....

1) Origin of the blockage/why it has come about

King Wands, 8 Cups, Ace Swords

This is going to sound weird, but I think this all started when I moved here. I was trying to be a grown up and start my new life. I had this idea that I could do it on my own. Well, not all on my own, the hubs-to-be was there too. We moved to be closer to his school. I hadn't wanted to move this far away, but I did anyway, to be with him. It was risky, and I normally am not risky. I went off my housing assistance to do this and I moved to a county that has no help for me and my illness. I thought, rashly, that it wouldn't matter, that I would be ok because I was with him. And while he is great, he is gone most of every day. So I sit here alone because I have nowhere to go and no one to see.

2) Current nature of the blockage

8 Swords, 4 Wands, Ace Pents

Current nature.... The 4 and that ace show lots of stability, which I have, but it has surrounded me and left me stuck right in the middle there. Can you see it? I've let myself become trapped. I started it, I saw it was happening, and yet I did nothing about it. It isn't all that bad, but my anxiety is so bad right now. I hadn't thought it was because of me.

3) Resultant effects of blockage

HP, Strength, 2 Wands

Balance.... Strange that these are all twos, Strength is 11 in this deck. I am completely unbalanced now. There is no escape for me with the things that normally brought me escape. There is no weekly going to mom's to do laundry, there is no weekly watching my nephew. There is no weekly going out to my favorite place. This is quite eye opening.

4) Advice on how to clear blockage and move on

Knight Swords, Ace Wands, 9 Pents

Now the important part. The knight... what is he telling me. Decision? Perhaps, that Ace is the move, and that will lead me out. Then I can be the 9 and take some pleasure in my life, begin to rely on myself instead of feeling that I need so much. But the way she's leaning and to the other side, it looks like that is what will happen after the Ace and Knight.

I guess that echos the other reading which told me to wait it out. If only I had the strength to start packing already....