tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11068909572801687362024-03-05T04:40:18.221-05:00Hazel Shadow DragonHazel Shadow Dragon is my Wiccan name but most of you know me by my web name, Sinduction.
This is my Primary Deck Reflection Study 2009 with the Transparent Tarot.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-68300625169881227022009-09-18T23:53:00.006-04:002009-09-19T00:21:31.417-04:00Outlook Spread<div style="text-align: center;">By Indigo Rose<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So, I got a letter<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span>from Social Security saying they are re-evaluating my disability status. I'm a little scared but I don't really think they will find me not disabled. Especially since I've lost all that weight and am really thin now. But I figured I'd do a spread about it anyway.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1) Outlook for the situation, event, or project<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tMMpTHjoywhDr1XvwrD_ftAr-UPgb9ZypZpTAmwsJBb6AWF0-hs8pm0v8RxPNfTYsltbZXZglqAYbmfUpgR8euRLj-dirkM2aF5ERsrOiNPIeeJZIEA4N0zKrPCi-6A6joy9zV0pGcfl/s1600-h/09-18~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tMMpTHjoywhDr1XvwrD_ftAr-UPgb9ZypZpTAmwsJBb6AWF0-hs8pm0v8RxPNfTYsltbZXZglqAYbmfUpgR8euRLj-dirkM2aF5ERsrOiNPIeeJZIEA4N0zKrPCi-6A6joy9zV0pGcfl/s200/09-18~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383027972659723890" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Pents, 3 Pents, Queen Swords<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">Outlook for the situation: Well, I am asking for money and showing them why. I'm not sure what that Queen is doing there. Perhaps I've been the Queen, trying to logically show them why I am unable to work.<br /></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> 2) What/Who will help<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOvoi2tgASZCtFAeWGkOoWgGfd_GxBDGSWZz2j9Otd9diJntBByy2geGRkRFTDSw06jPCKkNvohdv2aUDdf0bW5bXulPUlhXqaTcmBafcToN6wOLywhW3ilcZqXFGDbLxfUiUuXQRlWoax/s1600-h/09-18~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOvoi2tgASZCtFAeWGkOoWgGfd_GxBDGSWZz2j9Otd9diJntBByy2geGRkRFTDSw06jPCKkNvohdv2aUDdf0bW5bXulPUlhXqaTcmBafcToN6wOLywhW3ilcZqXFGDbLxfUiUuXQRlWoax/s200/09-18~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383028100578110626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Swords, King Wands, 4 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I think I will help. I think showing them my day to day life and how I struggle will be enough. It was enough last time and I've only gotten worse.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> 3) What this will lead to<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aaWLCSfM49Fo3ML-mP74soYb2HooENBbrNvGXegUW8bZrRunKXrVgsYh9tpu_dc3QeIbNkTw9LeJXRAQAig_KO1_E6E-oNd9xBFWsCRs_XcNdQ0PFD2xIYxfTbiluOlZu6wFK9TxsHeI/s1600-h/09-18~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 145px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aaWLCSfM49Fo3ML-mP74soYb2HooENBbrNvGXegUW8bZrRunKXrVgsYh9tpu_dc3QeIbNkTw9LeJXRAQAig_KO1_E6E-oNd9xBFWsCRs_XcNdQ0PFD2xIYxfTbiluOlZu6wFK9TxsHeI/s200/09-18~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383028232677003234" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Pents, 10 Pents, 10 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 is harvest, right? So after a long wait it will all come together.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4) How you will feel about the outcome<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgti4J_AjYLO3YTzrdUuDcl0LWCStMQAxarUYYgS-XTk5V2c37irs2lCTnhzSR-66Lz33rjlfWhtc8Ztd1glYoDKuDb0Ycxg7VYxgXTmey-7BgLK76bDYDrV5CFtEMhL11hhJWcfF9irJa-/s1600-h/09-18~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgti4J_AjYLO3YTzrdUuDcl0LWCStMQAxarUYYgS-XTk5V2c37irs2lCTnhzSR-66Lz33rjlfWhtc8Ztd1glYoDKuDb0Ycxg7VYxgXTmey-7BgLK76bDYDrV5CFtEMhL11hhJWcfF9irJa-/s200/09-18~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383028362332640530" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 Wands, 10 Wands, 8 Wands<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This one is confusing, because I know I will feel relieved. Perhaps there is something else they will do? Lots of fire for how I will feel.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-33063256637308100042009-07-28T23:27:00.008-04:002009-07-29T00:26:01.293-04:00Problem Spread.....<div style="text-align: center;">I really like this spread. It's so useful!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I thought it was significant that I've seen one of these images before. I think I'm beginning to understand what the Wheel has been trying to tell me.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What you think the problem is:<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmErKEiIeIhC4ovO7oZcdzlBp3LgzjLUP-YgROSf5R6Sl8c3wwqWt-sVlL4oEpMrRvuX8_jGOnIYRHJTm7-h3uU5_A9Y1yPf0n5t8-zR0HZSc9ntNKTxYoJfdijna2PeyvWgX9KSw5-4M7/s1600-h/07-28-09~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmErKEiIeIhC4ovO7oZcdzlBp3LgzjLUP-YgROSf5R6Sl8c3wwqWt-sVlL4oEpMrRvuX8_jGOnIYRHJTm7-h3uU5_A9Y1yPf0n5t8-zR0HZSc9ntNKTxYoJfdijna2PeyvWgX9KSw5-4M7/s200/07-28-09~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363725233941590386" border="0" /></a>Star, Tower, 3 Wands<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I like how the middle 3 is in the Star and the fire is in the Tower. I think the problem is massive and that there is no hope and that I haven't the energy to move beyond this. I am having trouble remembering the standard meaning of the 3, which happens a lot when I use this deck. The 3 is the waiting for the ships, right? I think I've done all I can and now I'm just stuck in limbo.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">What the problem actually is:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3bO2UprAV8ByBXhY853836M8u16O-nKIPscEEbq11kGCn_nm7lQsPjcRmV6p4nF3AYb6M4kay12J0E1aZ9t7U_j5p5AXuVfucwvnrZY98FHq0-qUPDcN6TvWZK96-NKU4w5Ffy2Ganv7/s1600-h/07-28-09~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3bO2UprAV8ByBXhY853836M8u16O-nKIPscEEbq11kGCn_nm7lQsPjcRmV6p4nF3AYb6M4kay12J0E1aZ9t7U_j5p5AXuVfucwvnrZY98FHq0-qUPDcN6TvWZK96-NKU4w5Ffy2Ganv7/s200/07-28-09~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363725403261402226" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Pents, Page Wands, Death<br /><br />Now this is the image I have seen before! Remember the reading for how the anxiety group would turn out? Only Judgment has been replaced by that Page. So, the problem really is that I've uncovered that blockage and that is what has stolen my energy. Although, I can't say what I've uncovered, as I don't really know. I get the feeling that I am on schedule. That I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment. Which is what I think the Wheel has been trying to tell me. If you recall, the Wheel has been stalking me through this blog. I take this to mean that the problem is not as major as I think it is. Which is really weird since I've taken a very drastic downward spiral in past few months. My anxiety is worse than it has been in a long time. But perhaps it is always darkest before the dawn.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Solution to consider:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCcN7xfLm2zXLRfqHDkIiu5u5s-XJOkYf5MAF-DMYvfQrj9r10kkACWzN7TNFhM2QnIJF01qUJSyJ5lKSL71b0WHFbfuCD4ImgGzG6rOKXnx5RuyCWuZCff5LA_puwqy84mHlq6ERb9Zq0/s1600-h/07-28-09~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCcN7xfLm2zXLRfqHDkIiu5u5s-XJOkYf5MAF-DMYvfQrj9r10kkACWzN7TNFhM2QnIJF01qUJSyJ5lKSL71b0WHFbfuCD4ImgGzG6rOKXnx5RuyCWuZCff5LA_puwqy84mHlq6ERb9Zq0/s200/07-28-09~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363725534650669682" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Swords, 7 Wands, Knight Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This is a drastic image for me. Our 7 wands is ever watchful and ever defending. But at what price? Look at that thief taking off with those swords! It's like I'm too busy fighting something to notice what is being taken from me. And there is that Knight, offering his cup. Full of love. This is reminding me of that breakthrough I had awhile ago. Where I realized that I created my anxiety to keep me safe. Only now I don't really need it anymore. This was my breakthrough of acceptance and knowing that I need to treat myself and my disorder with love if I am to get it to leave. I must teach that side of myself that I am safe now. That I am no longer that little girl and none of the people who hurt me are around any more. I am fighting ghosts.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Practical thing to do:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55j4DtP8IVWLxc385wGZjxO5kT509bH4WtKe5b47Zx8mizUlt5rw_1NcNMJ08_Ren7D-4Zz4vgD0AxWqV1JW9NAtRfkAYK0WMZqDVdEhGL5M9k55RVoK_qtuGAGAqEwhTMXu6bP7jB5N7/s1600-h/07-28-09~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55j4DtP8IVWLxc385wGZjxO5kT509bH4WtKe5b47Zx8mizUlt5rw_1NcNMJ08_Ren7D-4Zz4vgD0AxWqV1JW9NAtRfkAYK0WMZqDVdEhGL5M9k55RVoK_qtuGAGAqEwhTMXu6bP7jB5N7/s200/07-28-09~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363725666676314738" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 Pents, Knight Wands, 2 Swords<br /><br />I like how those 2's are right on top of each other. My juggling and indecision. Trying to mix air and earth. Trying to quiet my logical, over-thinking mind and live in the now, in this body, moment to moment. And that Knight is just screaming of energy that I very much need right now and am severely lacking. I feel this image is telling me that the practical thing to do is what I've been doing. Only maybe step it up a notch.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Important Factor:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnGqBj0wCt3JyhvTLKliWkW_B5q-7iD2F3SeqfxUPPZt95pLhJ_VA-TBw11ANfXse_pQm235CXbvTPlL6TkscQvsajLG-l7nZQGQfVWVUa1-6rPspUo792Hfg4a1uG0SawpR9JUSlZJUK/s1600-h/07-28-09~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnGqBj0wCt3JyhvTLKliWkW_B5q-7iD2F3SeqfxUPPZt95pLhJ_VA-TBw11ANfXse_pQm235CXbvTPlL6TkscQvsajLG-l7nZQGQfVWVUa1-6rPspUo792Hfg4a1uG0SawpR9JUSlZJUK/s200/07-28-09~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363725817930574514" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Hanged Man, 8 Swords, 7 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I always see myself as that cocoon. All wrapped up in my safety zone. And that 8 is my anxiety. The 7 is the life I wish to have. This is an important factor! I have control here. I made this situation. I have let it control me for so long. Keeping myself hidden away, letting those swords keep me bound. I know it is a lie. I know this is not real yet I continue to live this way.<br /><br />This deck is so amazing and just won't let me deceive myself. She's quiet blunt and talkative. I need to use her more.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-81286667269235923792009-07-09T01:14:00.002-04:002009-07-09T01:43:06.147-04:00Checking AccuracyBack in April I did a reading about a therapy group I was about to join. Well, that group has ended and I wanted to take a look back at that reading and see how it turned out. My new thoughts are in italics.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1. Refers to the situation, relationship, or other concerns asked about.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7hlmnBvfv5dzQlhyXQ7bKMRyXVAv3shVqMS9MOvHgX7cu7apFh-BvSU8cj8X4YJBsnaUSEAw56xLnN4pEMlpyHVMEr5_4VNl_JlsKvIF3QygwabUZH9Lm1-byRDJadY1QnV7WXnRQuzX/s1600-h/04-15~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7hlmnBvfv5dzQlhyXQ7bKMRyXVAv3shVqMS9MOvHgX7cu7apFh-BvSU8cj8X4YJBsnaUSEAw56xLnN4pEMlpyHVMEr5_4VNl_JlsKvIF3QygwabUZH9Lm1-byRDJadY1QnV7WXnRQuzX/s200/04-15~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123325826081154" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Ace Pents, 5 Cups, 9 Pents<br /><br />Yes, I'm looking for some stability, to be more comfortable in my life, but I'm afraid I will be disappointed. I've tried lots of programs without success.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I also note my despair in that 5 and feel that my enjoyment of life (9) is tied to that Ace.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">2. Negative influence or blockage.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjBPxL3yVgl7x_W0EHZlnNDIwPKwE0ljILVohum720lV_roz_5d5Q4YomRKxn2seLMFXkjz8IVuPDZzMZoLlBdAMQp0MzB5e8qY3Ia67wGS7iXLhmIxrolD-j7bu7x3G6Et_VCtsUcPfZ/s1600-h/04-15~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjBPxL3yVgl7x_W0EHZlnNDIwPKwE0ljILVohum720lV_roz_5d5Q4YomRKxn2seLMFXkjz8IVuPDZzMZoLlBdAMQp0MzB5e8qY3Ia67wGS7iXLhmIxrolD-j7bu7x3G6Et_VCtsUcPfZ/s200/04-15~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123641801097554" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">9 Swords, Emperor, Chariot<br /><br />Well, there's that 9 which is my anxiety so I may have a hard time getting to the groups, as also seen by the Chariot. The Emperor, I think, is speaking of the group. I don't like to share intimate things to people. Well, in person that is. You guys don't count. I find it worth noting that as this is a negative or a blockage, the 9 is in the light horse, not the dark one. So my anxiety may keep me from doing well.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I only missed one session, due to my food poisoning, not anxiety. I was uncomfortable in the group but eventually became the biggest talker and actually made friends with some people in the group. It wasn't my anxiety that kept me from doing well, I had issues with the book we used. Mainly, it did not speak of generalized anxiety which is my biggest problem.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">3. Positive influence or assistance.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeGL4xc4Xm6ez9tXakfuDrO9fw5xk-9B0qr_hko6albsW7r9NG-MbRWZtbGEZ5RDS3Vvej-gTWKHGMA5fP7RSQzLbe7IBAROUOTV9vMSE6pHBAjigPFa2wThbQ43kXi2OiJAJpbWMB_LS/s1600-h/04-15~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeGL4xc4Xm6ez9tXakfuDrO9fw5xk-9B0qr_hko6albsW7r9NG-MbRWZtbGEZ5RDS3Vvej-gTWKHGMA5fP7RSQzLbe7IBAROUOTV9vMSE6pHBAjigPFa2wThbQ43kXi2OiJAJpbWMB_LS/s200/04-15~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123751812407826" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Page Wands, Hermit, 8 Wands<br /><br />I've met with the woman leading this group and she really strikes me as this Page. She's almost annoyingly upbeat and is very intense and passionate about this group. The Hermit doesn't surprise me at all. I'm very self aware and that will help me. With the assistance of that 8, it looks like I may make more headway in the self-realization aspect.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I actually had a very big realization late into the program. One that really opened my eyes and changed the way I see my anxiety. I do not feel like any part of the group was a part of that though. It came from something I read on the EFT site. But, my assessment of our teacher was spot on and I am set to join her other group next week.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4. What you can do to improve the situation. (The action card.)<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5PBu6dpv7ahhF_1MrmwxfieuzwERfW2qxH9nOuYEL2sNLY6FNbt5xN-2d1nUSr1m8tqisuINf6_YL_heqoQkBZT4mn4w0RzC_CQazqfd67cGGhNnfF1oeQBoekOM2wy6FBx8qcAdixm5M/s1600-h/04-15~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5PBu6dpv7ahhF_1MrmwxfieuzwERfW2qxH9nOuYEL2sNLY6FNbt5xN-2d1nUSr1m8tqisuINf6_YL_heqoQkBZT4mn4w0RzC_CQazqfd67cGGhNnfF1oeQBoekOM2wy6FBx8qcAdixm5M/s200/04-15~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123888843049314" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Wheel, High Priestess, Queen Pents<br /><br />That damn Wheel! I love that there's a book here though. How cool is that! Read the book, learn the secrets. Turn it all around and get to the "real" me. The me I want to be, which is that Queen.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I don't feel the HP was referring to the book, as I got nothing out of it that I didn't already know. I think the Wheel is just timing, or rather getting out of my head and into the Now. The Queen seems to be about cultivating the me I wish to be. The whole Act As If.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5. Probable outcome based on current circumstances (or direction that the situation/relationship is heading towards based on current circumstances.)<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieTA7YSW_4Hd6VW-eHi5SH813rUZCx6WYe_mCzGaurMbzMkTdWI9dbjrZXws2uUn9wTgkmPK0XW0ohGRWpHEPoJ3rCDODeA-qUrCX_H06U3sYVswwgtPPURhN_3p8A5saZvCIoZjR0FmS_/s1600-h/04-15~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieTA7YSW_4Hd6VW-eHi5SH813rUZCx6WYe_mCzGaurMbzMkTdWI9dbjrZXws2uUn9wTgkmPK0XW0ohGRWpHEPoJ3rCDODeA-qUrCX_H06U3sYVswwgtPPURhN_3p8A5saZvCIoZjR0FmS_/s200/04-15~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325124240739004770" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Pents, Death, Judgment<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Normally, this outcome would be terrifying, but look how positive when it's speaking of something one wants to be rid of! I hate to jinx myself but by Goddess, this looks promising!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Like I said before, that realization I had that still has me reeling would not have come about had I not been in the group and not getting what I hoped out of it. I do feel a bit like the phoenix but not completely there yet. Like I've just begun the transformation but there is more work to be done. That scythe to the head really is spot on in regards to my realization, which I'm going to share with all of you. I cannot recall if I've posted it in this blog before now.<br /><br />Anyway, here's the story. I was reading about inner child work and how when we are children and are in an unstable environment, the mind can do things to keep us safe. It mulled around in my brain and one night, on a long drive home from having fun with some friends, it hit me like a bolt of lightning. All these years I have looked at my anxiety as an enemy. Something to fight, and I do fight daily. I've likened it to a fight to the death. I had been searching for a way to change my perspective so that I may approach my anxiety in a positive way. While I was driving I realized that my anxiety is only trying to keep me safe, something my parents failed to do when I was young. So it isn't some scary monster, but myself. A part of me that, however misguided, is there for my own protection.<br /><br />So now, instead of fighting it, I can approach it with love and understanding. To teach it, and myself, that it is no longer needed. I am safe where I am all the time. During a subsequent meditation I found myself in the cottage of the Crone, of whom I have always been a bit fearful. But there she was, in her cottage, fixing me a meal and she said to me, "Child, you are safe no matter where you are. Whether you are here with me, your guides, your loving fox, God and the Goddess... we are always with you. You are as safe in your house as you are in a plane that is hurtling to crash into the Earth. No matter where or when you are, you are safe."<br /><br />And in that moment, when I heard these words from her, I imagined being in a plane about to crash and that same fear is what I feel daily. Only in this meditation, I was able to understand what she was telling me. I have nothing to fear and I am never alone, I am never forgotten, never unheard, never invisible. I am not that child anymore. My father is no longer the same man and he is not here to frighten me daily. I am more stable now than I have ever been in my life. I have a loving partner that takes great care of me, that loves and accepts every part of me, even the parts of me that I don't accept. I have two dogs that I adore and who give me such love. I have a direct connection to the divine whenever I need it. I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge, if I could only get myself to eat it. I have everything I need. I lack nothing. I am complete as I am.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I no longer need my anxiety to protect me. So now I must learn to let it go and teach it to leave. And I'm sure I will figure that out.</span><br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-64527599855799122222009-06-24T22:02:00.007-04:002009-06-24T22:53:04.866-04:00Confusion Spreadby: <b>SilentBreeze<br /><br /></b><div style="text-align: center;">I think the problem is:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVOKmC-fOEzlH1ANGX_yLnJJoDTVmS5YxW3yLym0ltySJACa1N5WiNbr6EwsVG1U60yAgj14KdsDXkGmxOggGOrq-ySAVhHK3AcWvrDp7Ur3mZXkgLMcGzrvuQZRmaZ_TPqGU1mMNlvBzZ/s1600-h/06-24~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVOKmC-fOEzlH1ANGX_yLnJJoDTVmS5YxW3yLym0ltySJACa1N5WiNbr6EwsVG1U60yAgj14KdsDXkGmxOggGOrq-ySAVhHK3AcWvrDp7Ur3mZXkgLMcGzrvuQZRmaZ_TPqGU1mMNlvBzZ/s200/06-24~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351086573359622802" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 Pents, Queen Pents, Queen Cups<br /><br />This card is what I think the problem is. Which is weird because the Queen's are superimposed on each other. This is how I feel a lot of the time. Like I have to choose between feeling my emotions and living in this world. Like I cannot do both. It is hard to explain in words. But the image feels how I feel. Almost like there are two of me struggling inside here for control.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">But really the problem is:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2iWmEnj4QvCnli3blyeYy85PKvuYPanI9CM8uMRUkYl0AmxPbYvnAl3rAh-dYaPlgohBbcpRuPjo9HLE1gkkKjeSlRS25RvPMR9LHOwp7D_TYugei7drUeFMuh0dRCniwNn859NixJPV9/s1600-h/06-24~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2iWmEnj4QvCnli3blyeYy85PKvuYPanI9CM8uMRUkYl0AmxPbYvnAl3rAh-dYaPlgohBbcpRuPjo9HLE1gkkKjeSlRS25RvPMR9LHOwp7D_TYugei7drUeFMuh0dRCniwNn859NixJPV9/s200/06-24~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351086727247642674" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Wands, Justice, 7 Swords<br /><br />Well, look at that. Balance again, but they're each on a scale! It looks like fight and defend or retreat. This actually makes sense after the epiphany I had last week. I was reading and the author suggested that panic disorders are your body's way of trying to protect you. And I thought that made sense since my family wasn't really there for me when I was young. So, now I'm trying to re-train my body not to react to things that are not a threat to me. This image seems to strike a balance between those two extremes. Because, a bit of anxiety is healthy, to alert me to dangers so I don't want it completely gone but I don't want it going off for every little thing. Which takes the focus off the Queens above. There is nothing wrong with me mentally, which I already knew and have been feeling way better since my epiphany.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So I should consider:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXG9_ECWLVLzeh2QEHRIlLn4HknKjhpwn_iR9GoSWVcKMjZCrkgoQSe4URadB9nwN42R_AzGFzopTPQEymI_F2gBigRuyfjzq8NaMTWQ0F0_bnLTBIgokMfZAf_r3zyJwjMjcgF72ZlELK/s1600-h/06-24~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXG9_ECWLVLzeh2QEHRIlLn4HknKjhpwn_iR9GoSWVcKMjZCrkgoQSe4URadB9nwN42R_AzGFzopTPQEymI_F2gBigRuyfjzq8NaMTWQ0F0_bnLTBIgokMfZAf_r3zyJwjMjcgF72ZlELK/s200/06-24~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351086828879888482" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Moon, 6 Cups, Wheel<br /><br />Here is the solution card. That damn Wheel again! Is the 6 in the water quadrant of the Wheel? There is a lot in this image. For one thing, the Moon only has her third eye open. So that tells me that logical is not the way to go here. Also, those feathers from the Wheel are over her mouth. That is weird. I'm wondering if the 6 is about nurturing my inner child and perhaps taking a journey back to that time and maybe just listen.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">And then:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyP9szAdAevcHJ15wXFzAFK4GBn9P56N9Aif95UgpR7dcRH_MaIzlrJAQ-iPExUYfOct-hqp1ulkLzJFHOtfAEGQLRE8PEF3yaXzzoDwv3rKUQwbp4BHSzOOSaT-4C28GaEkRUdW2NKwIM/s1600-h/06-24~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyP9szAdAevcHJ15wXFzAFK4GBn9P56N9Aif95UgpR7dcRH_MaIzlrJAQ-iPExUYfOct-hqp1ulkLzJFHOtfAEGQLRE8PEF3yaXzzoDwv3rKUQwbp4BHSzOOSaT-4C28GaEkRUdW2NKwIM/s200/06-24~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351086991942995234" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Pents, Knight Swords, Strength<br /><br />This is the action card. I think Strength here is animal instinct, aka my disorder. That 5 again, remember before where Death was right at his head? So here it is with a sword run through. But the sword isn't in the normal position when fighting. How strange is that? I've already learned to look at this in a different way. This is not a fight, my anxiety is not the enemy. It is my protector and now I must break away and let it go. Teach it and myself how to live on my own in the world. I feel the Knight's kneeling and the position of his sword are important but I can't find the words to explain. Like, he is in service, not in battle. <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">But remember:<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvVlKRXshXxPlwCircJGkmkhtZoYuvqte1y7O-w0tP5GhweCdXh0xe1cP1BM64U4Pj4oZzK4pOqHk4YTriJLsAwNvqSNW5P8DFoK1c2EFhFu-eHnCgvxBpq0xmBvKZxmAWxUiyyIbBvPDk/s1600-h/06-24~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvVlKRXshXxPlwCircJGkmkhtZoYuvqte1y7O-w0tP5GhweCdXh0xe1cP1BM64U4Pj4oZzK4pOqHk4YTriJLsAwNvqSNW5P8DFoK1c2EFhFu-eHnCgvxBpq0xmBvKZxmAWxUiyyIbBvPDk/s200/06-24~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351087126205724834" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Tower, 6 Pents, Ace Swords<br /><br />This is the important factor card. The Tower for me is the crumbling of lies, which I assume is the next step. So that I may rebuild. And this is going to hurt a bit so I should be good to myself. I also think the Ace is a great sign that I will be able to see through to the truth and integrate my new thought processes without much of a problem.<br /><br />You know, sometimes I love this deck so much.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-67467525445388302122009-06-16T21:39:00.009-04:002009-06-17T13:27:51.953-04:00Took a Break<div style="text-align: center;">But I'm back now. I'm a little off, this reading is not making sense to me.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><strong style="font-weight: normal;">The 6 Card Tell Me Spread by </strong>Golden Angel<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 1- Can represents the past or recent past that has lead up to querent's current state or what is leading up to where they want to be or what they want to achieve.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-F8zSRMdjIGfN_zNIXZ_IDRaDnQtQx6d1MpJOucVwsD6EoaQLk-IqTjYR47LtPomREt7N0e3tzqAIFxqeF16Px7zd7H9YqG4h8F1p2QMoZRRppLaiKYem3HG4rPjLWHXyUVvYLsBnSdZJ/s1600-h/6-17~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-F8zSRMdjIGfN_zNIXZ_IDRaDnQtQx6d1MpJOucVwsD6EoaQLk-IqTjYR47LtPomREt7N0e3tzqAIFxqeF16Px7zd7H9YqG4h8F1p2QMoZRRppLaiKYem3HG4rPjLWHXyUVvYLsBnSdZJ/s200/6-17~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348346929510484626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Wheel, 10 Wands, Queen Swords<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">There's that Wheel again. I can see the Queen as who I am with my anxiety, which is my 10 Wands. I've been too logical, too burdened.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 2- Signifies the current dilemma with the querent. Its really good at echoing the querent's question.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOL-hgALxbW6QQ2Y7sZ6oOeMgP7LQXjd5eBUl_6QkX89nfBQ1Vs1_UAXxuOlIm7aWJ7JebZe9BlcSLRaDjy3JAi4FcrJFG2Z2PFj-GWLFqCdiywLVpXyMDCfBJsCYFbuA2zM4pebT8W2P/s1600-h/06-17~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOL-hgALxbW6QQ2Y7sZ6oOeMgP7LQXjd5eBUl_6QkX89nfBQ1Vs1_UAXxuOlIm7aWJ7JebZe9BlcSLRaDjy3JAi4FcrJFG2Z2PFj-GWLFqCdiywLVpXyMDCfBJsCYFbuA2zM4pebT8W2P/s200/06-17~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348347043601051522" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Pents, Page Pents, World<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Well, I'm now the apprentice (page) trying to put to use what I've learned spiritually. Taking the offerings of spirit (6). The World, I'm seeing as bringing things together or, at least, my desire to do so. Actually, this comes into what I was talking about earlier today. I'm trying to get my soul to stay in this body, to be present in this body. To be present in this World instead of in my head.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 3- Signifies one half of the underlying problem (the other half is revealed in Card 4). Typically this shows up as a person, sometimes an event or issue, but usually its a person (court card).<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8SuZrNmdKD8sl9lQcDFnayAXxCcVf5-kZFeUVNu9iZQpOrurs7v_D5If8esko1DqNl9I3yok6jVxJ8Bd41KFrXhhOCUOo-tMVkoiHHqajlosTUuVJoA9FLcB8ZbGQxh8NesZqrrX0NuAx/s1600-h/06-17~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8SuZrNmdKD8sl9lQcDFnayAXxCcVf5-kZFeUVNu9iZQpOrurs7v_D5If8esko1DqNl9I3yok6jVxJ8Bd41KFrXhhOCUOo-tMVkoiHHqajlosTUuVJoA9FLcB8ZbGQxh8NesZqrrX0NuAx/s200/06-17~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348347179012942162" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">King Cups, Emperor, 5 Swords<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So this is one half of the underlying problem. This one is difficult. Rising above, with love, but the Emperor is in the way. I am too busy with the swords.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 4- Signifies the other half of the underlying problem. Usually indicates what the issue is and with whom when read with Card 3. (This tends to be either a major arcana or a minor card).<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidOYTNeviMT9sEAnNnMkaS5pMj8WDA35msbnSz37DpgOcMjalGyS2eMZST9zqyzyrCDsE0QoaGeJL17zzEhtz3xUUYgrqy8bFpCwbdaQzjPkHYT9-cx0VVQnrl_m1zxKNUR29ZZ1ejyUoR/s1600-h/06-17~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 145px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidOYTNeviMT9sEAnNnMkaS5pMj8WDA35msbnSz37DpgOcMjalGyS2eMZST9zqyzyrCDsE0QoaGeJL17zzEhtz3xUUYgrqy8bFpCwbdaQzjPkHYT9-cx0VVQnrl_m1zxKNUR29ZZ1ejyUoR/s200/06-17~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348347314207818674" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Queen Pents, Ace Wands, 5 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The other half of the problem. I always see this Queen as me, who I want to be. I don't feel 5 of Cups at all, in relation to her. The Ace could be my lack of energy.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 5- The next stage just before the final outcome happens. It usually reveals the Karmic or Life Lesson or the emotional theme associated from the struggle denoted by Cards 3 and 4.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTi7E9neBl8jY7fA1yEGPZvj1AoIjs1tgcBd8_GVVVQrMU_4Sh79fV1h2WGrbag0CSkW67OWsqcN3Ghu7g21oadf0liNB3KLgOAhvtp8jOnWYsJSBI_-Rd6qsJkld0-wgYxy5XdpRkLNsz/s1600-h/06-17~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTi7E9neBl8jY7fA1yEGPZvj1AoIjs1tgcBd8_GVVVQrMU_4Sh79fV1h2WGrbag0CSkW67OWsqcN3Ghu7g21oadf0liNB3KLgOAhvtp8jOnWYsJSBI_-Rd6qsJkld0-wgYxy5XdpRkLNsz/s200/06-17~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348347438298379042" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 Swords, Knight Swords, Devil<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Champion. Perhaps it is as simple as the decision to get out.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Card 6- The final outcome card.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvGvecnlqjCY2CBLNpk2_4S6QOWu8Q9VswbS8ZNfggZ7N25JQjNtqRkqQH0UBnmEYfBGpGxcL7rdRDf1wwkXfv0oy0VpVq0niGhE0GeRePqpP0ZjS2t_LmZLKL-lx0t3R5WVPqcC9RdJXf/s1600-h/06-17~06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvGvecnlqjCY2CBLNpk2_4S6QOWu8Q9VswbS8ZNfggZ7N25JQjNtqRkqQH0UBnmEYfBGpGxcL7rdRDf1wwkXfv0oy0VpVq0niGhE0GeRePqpP0ZjS2t_LmZLKL-lx0t3R5WVPqcC9RdJXf/s200/06-17~06.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348347729921091346" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Pents, 4 Wands, 5 Wands<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Harvest, building a new foundation. But that 5, more to do still?<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-1917277768945218962009-05-09T22:30:00.008-04:002009-05-10T01:14:09.772-04:00Spirit Guide<div style="text-align: center;">So, I've recently met my spirit guide but am having trouble communicating with him so I thought I'd do this spread.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">by: miss_apples <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1 represents the spirit, a little info about who they are<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR9GiY_o1MquEQ358MrCRDhdOI-0X1nldzlG0ht4tQ0_R-h0moliy5pdMgmqwvsXcZ5H5kGWMj64exlwLbtuCuoHBJn5krPVZVc6y8lCTrOf02_wIomN4FQcIj2HfIPfpE4mSjHYxktZCL/s1600-h/Spirit~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR9GiY_o1MquEQ358MrCRDhdOI-0X1nldzlG0ht4tQ0_R-h0moliy5pdMgmqwvsXcZ5H5kGWMj64exlwLbtuCuoHBJn5krPVZVc6y8lCTrOf02_wIomN4FQcIj2HfIPfpE4mSjHYxktZCL/s200/Spirit~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334055171693291026" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Ace Wands, 10 Swords, World<br /><br />That Ace reinforces my belief that he is male. The 10 is kind of weird as I get the feeling he was a knight of some kind. He just kind of looks like one, it's hard to describe. I'm not sure what the World is trying to tell me. Maybe that he did was alive at one time, so he could have been a knight.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">2 represents why they are with you right now<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsA3D43LZcP4jqUcP2R2o4cVK4P4YpncW9HUiDCChph4wuzMrYEvNW1Bqw2iyGBQ-EbeRcnUq-d-svQflKKyN4s8Lob6s3k1oM_DvdIHzPuG_DhTyPrtN0BpoxqwrK1D2ozYC5FPVHjHcV/s1600-h/Spirit~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsA3D43LZcP4jqUcP2R2o4cVK4P4YpncW9HUiDCChph4wuzMrYEvNW1Bqw2iyGBQ-EbeRcnUq-d-svQflKKyN4s8Lob6s3k1oM_DvdIHzPuG_DhTyPrtN0BpoxqwrK1D2ozYC5FPVHjHcV/s200/Spirit~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334055279161649138" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">King Wands, Page Pents, 4 Cups<br /><br />Well, the King certainly looks like he's watching over. The Page looks to be trying to distract the 4 with that pent.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3 represents what they want you to know<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8D0qRjjX0MOf91OENFUSAhfRNJgLcwNv3NgrS0Zk3l2xYN1it3v4LA7clHvpEOjjbVl1DYkT3PQzT2T_JJgzvbRAo3_LqrejdxI2Rf9ox_9VdjpjQo057nMOZfi1SEJoO5UHoU2kxuLK/s1600-h/Spirit~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8D0qRjjX0MOf91OENFUSAhfRNJgLcwNv3NgrS0Zk3l2xYN1it3v4LA7clHvpEOjjbVl1DYkT3PQzT2T_JJgzvbRAo3_LqrejdxI2Rf9ox_9VdjpjQo057nMOZfi1SEJoO5UHoU2kxuLK/s200/Spirit~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334055398615749682" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Cups, 8 Cups, Queen Swords<br /><br />It looks like, even though I feel hopeless, there is a way out. Perhaps I need to cultivate some of the Queen's traits to do that.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4 represents what actions you can take and/or how you can help them<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOa_ThEUTe4Sg398J4aWqggz8vN2uXVEYPwN-OpDBFfeWxL5vcvMuY3h2Nj4V0ZfQq-kDE-9VvejoQZCAEtA8Duc4cDw1Z-NqFgyotOGkhU7wM4MaoSlriPSLQ2XExZx54Pp2m90x8XK4/s1600-h/Spirit~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOa_ThEUTe4Sg398J4aWqggz8vN2uXVEYPwN-OpDBFfeWxL5vcvMuY3h2Nj4V0ZfQq-kDE-9VvejoQZCAEtA8Duc4cDw1Z-NqFgyotOGkhU7wM4MaoSlriPSLQ2XExZx54Pp2m90x8XK4/s200/Spirit~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334055570743461538" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">10 Wands, 7 Pents, Queen Cups<br /><br />To put down all my wands and juggle with the Queen? I'm not sure what this one means.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">5 is a summary/outcome of the entire reading<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7o0my9vCF-zckfWV4CXsaaewJfw-nmrWtpEuKKP2D9irSltcuGnXL01K-4TeE-5ryfdHgbSXwahV_teVGLLypWzy20YpWNUEsxf6rs2U7b8g9-XMWhc9RMbI7DiXqj1LV_0F7gxIJXlQ/s1600-h/Spirit~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7o0my9vCF-zckfWV4CXsaaewJfw-nmrWtpEuKKP2D9irSltcuGnXL01K-4TeE-5ryfdHgbSXwahV_teVGLLypWzy20YpWNUEsxf6rs2U7b8g9-XMWhc9RMbI7DiXqj1LV_0F7gxIJXlQ/s200/Spirit~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334055691770595010" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Devil, Lovers, 9 Cups<br /><br />Another strange combination. I can't help but notice that the Devil completely surrounds the yin/yang of the Lovers. That is telling, isn't it? To harness that perhaps. To help me with balance.<br /><br />Well, nothing too straightforward. Maybe I need to make up my own spread and try again.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-35255713439070751872009-05-02T22:55:00.007-04:002009-05-02T23:36:18.795-04:00Serenity<div style="text-align: center;">It's been one of those weeks. Our group leader mentioned the Serenity Prayer last week. It's been in my head since. I'm now stuck home with a cold and not much else to do...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Spread by Embla<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Position 1: Serenity - How do I find serenity in this situation?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPfudTIk0QjuAtK3jIoM08xaoO2QzI7O1sX3NMW-hYuVAftUvTuuSioHXGsNYwp9oFJelR7jN0QabsmEXtNYqoEMuXCfM51_9x7zNNozCGwhYahi7IBXVNaTOGjMZ42coVt1ZMRYt7lwYr/s1600-h/05-02~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPfudTIk0QjuAtK3jIoM08xaoO2QzI7O1sX3NMW-hYuVAftUvTuuSioHXGsNYwp9oFJelR7jN0QabsmEXtNYqoEMuXCfM51_9x7zNNozCGwhYahi7IBXVNaTOGjMZ42coVt1ZMRYt7lwYr/s200/05-02~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331432868634807890" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">9 wands, 4 swords, 4 pents<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />By persevering, resting and meditation, relaxing. I love how the 4 of pents, which is always a card to relax for me, is stepping on the other 4's head. We have been speaking in group of untwisting our thoughts and becoming conscious of our negative thoughts. So this part seems to point to that. I also like how that 9 seems centered, almost in prayer or contemplation.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Position 2: Acceptance - How do I find acceptance of the things I canĀ“t change?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRXMtt67ZgCPS8MgkdwXJoWAsK-zIYvv2uRCy0RvMOjFkNnskvd59SybNQhBnPWUF6Ihbot8tFr-EyfkPTLSRnM0JLZmzEtimAFAy675Hsh0I7A0CHw3TyR6kdYTYs687wzVQcFAJYBarV/s1600-h/05-02~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRXMtt67ZgCPS8MgkdwXJoWAsK-zIYvv2uRCy0RvMOjFkNnskvd59SybNQhBnPWUF6Ihbot8tFr-EyfkPTLSRnM0JLZmzEtimAFAy675Hsh0I7A0CHw3TyR6kdYTYs687wzVQcFAJYBarV/s200/05-02~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331433022362863490" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">knight cups, justice, 3 swords<br /><br />We also spoke of acceptance of self and being kinder to ourselves. I see that in the knight and the 3. I also think Justice is fitting. Weighing what can be changed. I see this as not beating myself up for what I cannot change. But I tend to think that everything and anything can be changed. I have a very hard time with the word acceptance. I must realize I don't have to always be a warrior.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Position 3: Courage - How do I find the courage to change the things I can?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxFsYJ96kxQgJIXAE-7BJ4zUgEfjKssarAz0qmA9cGBevv0fW0-1DOw4W-q7yRI49PPRkhRbflmaHbYUN5pjyPxRVDZ4KN0hJCi1aY1fw80tFKI0zJHyw7KWnEn-eMvmrm8mdBtgsQGLZ/s1600-h/05-02~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxFsYJ96kxQgJIXAE-7BJ4zUgEfjKssarAz0qmA9cGBevv0fW0-1DOw4W-q7yRI49PPRkhRbflmaHbYUN5pjyPxRVDZ4KN0hJCi1aY1fw80tFKI0zJHyw7KWnEn-eMvmrm8mdBtgsQGLZ/s200/05-02~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331433165867298450" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">ace pents, 7 swords, 2 pents<br /><br />That 2 really looks like me when I meditate and that is a big way for me to find courage. I'm pretty courageous, if I do say so myself. Staying grounded is important to me as well, as I see in that ace. That ace, because it is a pentacle reminds me of my religion, which I should lean on more than I do. That may help as well. I think that 7 is representing my mind and how I tend to sew seeds of self-doubt. Which is funny because I joined another group, it's for self-empowerment, and it is coinciding nicely with my anxiety group. They tend to work on the same things and my daily affirmations may help to sew new seeds.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Position 4: Wisdom - How do I find the wisdom to know the difference between 2 and 3?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5sgHtTKz1R6JmwH_1peq0_FuTZaUBB6QjK1xL0hdBu6ooS5ffSiPWD_ttNlgDQVnREA0xP8oyb9YyhJHzUIYrcVLM4k_VB-seMKUcjC6uHO_NOutgdIPx3jOHXZM76Q6BuGmaCt03R0d/s1600-h/05-02~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 145px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5sgHtTKz1R6JmwH_1peq0_FuTZaUBB6QjK1xL0hdBu6ooS5ffSiPWD_ttNlgDQVnREA0xP8oyb9YyhJHzUIYrcVLM4k_VB-seMKUcjC6uHO_NOutgdIPx3jOHXZM76Q6BuGmaCt03R0d/s200/05-02~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331433445199133010" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">empress, magician, 2 swords<br /><br />This image really speaks of balance for me. I need to create more balance and keep myself in this world, as opposed to my own little world that I've created. And to be more conscious of the fact that I do have the power to decide.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-78966216371614322472009-04-27T22:41:00.009-04:002009-04-28T14:21:54.799-04:00Emotional Clutter....<div style="text-align: center;">Well, my class is going so/so. We have yet to touch upon anything life changing and I'm growing aggravated by the other people in the group. They are really close minded and it bothers me. I don't feel like sharing in that type of group. I'm also still on the waiting list for one on one therapy so my tarot must step in.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1.)What kind of emotional clutter have I accumulated?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpz-44bN3K2YIY_scEpDXW2d0mpgXgDScRlx5ZBRwJ8x8SiUjaEn3RwYdQzvSbkmv_jaHdN-86203hltYGerumf0WKuLDGn8p4r1NowW_Uo5fH1c79nqcVm3udR43WoQ-8_lOCK9lPXx0c/s1600-h/04-28~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpz-44bN3K2YIY_scEpDXW2d0mpgXgDScRlx5ZBRwJ8x8SiUjaEn3RwYdQzvSbkmv_jaHdN-86203hltYGerumf0WKuLDGn8p4r1NowW_Uo5fH1c79nqcVm3udR43WoQ-8_lOCK9lPXx0c/s200/04-28~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329593127143127218" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Swords, Page Cups, Sun<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">It looks like that 5 has entrapped the Page. Like I'm struggling with myself. That Page wants out to play and enjoy but the 5 has her trapped. It isn't safe, you can't go willy-nilly and carefree. I don't know what the Sun is doing there at all. Maybe that's my belief in how I see things. Even though I know they are wrong I somehow convince myself that things are how they seem.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2.)How is it affecting me?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglS28F0_5Gp5wa0uh5HJxkeDWP0Fu4S4ZstfnecZfqeQobzwoK-7lhDnaNpmRYqK4Z1ypg_QfcSpRALRsFokFJCuyJWAHgI-0jnzKwjBMpApevxrJf_TTDMtPA2e5fmmF1BkGbeyyR7xXV/s1600-h/04-28~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglS28F0_5Gp5wa0uh5HJxkeDWP0Fu4S4ZstfnecZfqeQobzwoK-7lhDnaNpmRYqK4Z1ypg_QfcSpRALRsFokFJCuyJWAHgI-0jnzKwjBMpApevxrJf_TTDMtPA2e5fmmF1BkGbeyyR7xXV/s200/04-28~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329593225312773522" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">10 Wands, 9 Wands, 8 Wands<br /><br />Bizarre cards and a bizarre image. There is no touching, no over-lapping. I am burdened, but I persevere, even though I wish to fly away. Or just die.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">3.)How is it affecting my relationships with others?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnd3RHOXpAGuwieRbB1ey35JgvD_2slan1oABZUlrh1p6Sf8kRPBlK9LDFWxazv7aEUmTnkZupip0rFc7PUrcpLcWMhL7d2FWHL8-56sqYL9eonvU-F96h3NkQBax-jrsumGorrFX-IvV/s1600-h/04-28~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnd3RHOXpAGuwieRbB1ey35JgvD_2slan1oABZUlrh1p6Sf8kRPBlK9LDFWxazv7aEUmTnkZupip0rFc7PUrcpLcWMhL7d2FWHL8-56sqYL9eonvU-F96h3NkQBax-jrsumGorrFX-IvV/s200/04-28~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329593343983018178" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Empress, Wheel, 6 Swords<br /><br />I do feel disconnected to others. Almost like I am on a journey no one else can understand. Which is how anxiety is. If you've never experienced it you have no idea how it is. But why is the Wheel stalking me? Is it because I still don't know if this is meant to be or what? I feel like this card will keep reappearing until I figure it out.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">4.)What steps can I take to remove this clutter?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggHK90s3L35z919XBVqtgh_eRp9lS473rkZBlD7HIJhPPlvcE8loVCK33iQzYWH-46dsueL93-cXqyloW_5sbKxJE9515f1HXnkx0hkxHW77IRGHJ_XFrUxIab33qRikaQus3OwUfWw1If/s1600-h/04-28~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggHK90s3L35z919XBVqtgh_eRp9lS473rkZBlD7HIJhPPlvcE8loVCK33iQzYWH-46dsueL93-cXqyloW_5sbKxJE9515f1HXnkx0hkxHW77IRGHJ_XFrUxIab33qRikaQus3OwUfWw1If/s200/04-28~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329593480836106130" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Wands, Death, 10 Swords<br /><br />Realize the worst has come to be, as it has. Cut out what is not needed and visualize myself as I want to be.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">5.)What can I do to avoid accumulating clutter in the future?<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdiwuBK2XWrFq0FeBOe5v42NSfuNPBCEsLa7aYU-i0vAXRIgJmqjtYpuCKO01TXPSXFIlHJkG8i-WlU9xA_KZB7Hn__K6rVxOZF3bHl-rSltxXLET8G2mJTnRaQQQlzZk9SQM44oyJgGz/s1600-h/04-28~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdiwuBK2XWrFq0FeBOe5v42NSfuNPBCEsLa7aYU-i0vAXRIgJmqjtYpuCKO01TXPSXFIlHJkG8i-WlU9xA_KZB7Hn__K6rVxOZF3bHl-rSltxXLET8G2mJTnRaQQQlzZk9SQM44oyJgGz/s200/04-28~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329593659023083586" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">8 Cups, 2 Swords, 2 Cups<br /><br />Letting it go, making a conscious decision to let it go, and to rely more on my close relationships to keep me sane. I know I don't always see things as they really are and I do need to ask for help sometimes. I'm so bad at that as I don't want to burden anyone. But what else are they here for if not for when I need them? I would do the same for them.<br /><br />I am so not in the mood for this today. It's been a long weekend and my fuse is short.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-67912642502564471242009-04-15T22:31:00.009-04:002009-04-15T23:34:54.684-04:00Anxiety Group Meeting...<div style="text-align: center;">So, I've been accepted into an anxiety support group. We're using a book so it's like a class and that gets the ubernerd in me so excited! Anyway, I'm not sure it's going to help so I decided to ask the cards.....<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1. Refers to the situation, relationship, or other concerns asked about.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7hlmnBvfv5dzQlhyXQ7bKMRyXVAv3shVqMS9MOvHgX7cu7apFh-BvSU8cj8X4YJBsnaUSEAw56xLnN4pEMlpyHVMEr5_4VNl_JlsKvIF3QygwabUZH9Lm1-byRDJadY1QnV7WXnRQuzX/s1600-h/04-15~01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7hlmnBvfv5dzQlhyXQ7bKMRyXVAv3shVqMS9MOvHgX7cu7apFh-BvSU8cj8X4YJBsnaUSEAw56xLnN4pEMlpyHVMEr5_4VNl_JlsKvIF3QygwabUZH9Lm1-byRDJadY1QnV7WXnRQuzX/s200/04-15~01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123325826081154" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Ace Pents, 5 Cups, 9 Pents<br /><br />Yes, I'm looking for some stability, to be more comfortable in my life, but I'm afraid I will be disappointed. I've tried lots of programs without success.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2. Negative influence or blockage.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjBPxL3yVgl7x_W0EHZlnNDIwPKwE0ljILVohum720lV_roz_5d5Q4YomRKxn2seLMFXkjz8IVuPDZzMZoLlBdAMQp0MzB5e8qY3Ia67wGS7iXLhmIxrolD-j7bu7x3G6Et_VCtsUcPfZ/s1600-h/04-15~02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 146px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjBPxL3yVgl7x_W0EHZlnNDIwPKwE0ljILVohum720lV_roz_5d5Q4YomRKxn2seLMFXkjz8IVuPDZzMZoLlBdAMQp0MzB5e8qY3Ia67wGS7iXLhmIxrolD-j7bu7x3G6Et_VCtsUcPfZ/s200/04-15~02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123641801097554" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">9 Swords, Emperor, Chariot<br /><br />Well, there's that 9 which is my anxiety so I may have a hard time getting to the groups, as also seen by the Chariot. The Emperor, I think, is speaking of the group. I don't like to share intimate things to people. Well, in person that is. You guys don't count. I find it worth noting that as this is a negative or a blockage, the 9 is in the light horse, not the dark one. So my anxiety may keep me from doing well.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3. Positive influence or assistance.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeGL4xc4Xm6ez9tXakfuDrO9fw5xk-9B0qr_hko6albsW7r9NG-MbRWZtbGEZ5RDS3Vvej-gTWKHGMA5fP7RSQzLbe7IBAROUOTV9vMSE6pHBAjigPFa2wThbQ43kXi2OiJAJpbWMB_LS/s1600-h/04-15~03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxeGL4xc4Xm6ez9tXakfuDrO9fw5xk-9B0qr_hko6albsW7r9NG-MbRWZtbGEZ5RDS3Vvej-gTWKHGMA5fP7RSQzLbe7IBAROUOTV9vMSE6pHBAjigPFa2wThbQ43kXi2OiJAJpbWMB_LS/s200/04-15~03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123751812407826" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Page Wands, Hermit, 8 Wands<br /><br />I've met with the woman leading this group and she really strikes me as this Page. She's almost annoyingly upbeat and is very intense and passionate about this group. The Hermit doesn't surprise me at all. I'm very self aware and that will help me. With the assistance of that 8, it looks like I may make more headway in the self-realization aspect.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4. What you can do to improve the situation. (The action card.)<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5PBu6dpv7ahhF_1MrmwxfieuzwERfW2qxH9nOuYEL2sNLY6FNbt5xN-2d1nUSr1m8tqisuINf6_YL_heqoQkBZT4mn4w0RzC_CQazqfd67cGGhNnfF1oeQBoekOM2wy6FBx8qcAdixm5M/s1600-h/04-15~04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5PBu6dpv7ahhF_1MrmwxfieuzwERfW2qxH9nOuYEL2sNLY6FNbt5xN-2d1nUSr1m8tqisuINf6_YL_heqoQkBZT4mn4w0RzC_CQazqfd67cGGhNnfF1oeQBoekOM2wy6FBx8qcAdixm5M/s200/04-15~04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325123888843049314" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Wheel, High Priestess, Queen Pents<br /><br />That damn Wheel! I love that there's a book here though. How cool is that! Read the book, learn the secrets. Turn it all around and get to the "real" me. The me I want to be, which is that Queen.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5. Probable outcome based on current circumstances (or direction that the situation/relationship is heading towards based on current circumstances.)<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieTA7YSW_4Hd6VW-eHi5SH813rUZCx6WYe_mCzGaurMbzMkTdWI9dbjrZXws2uUn9wTgkmPK0XW0ohGRWpHEPoJ3rCDODeA-qUrCX_H06U3sYVswwgtPPURhN_3p8A5saZvCIoZjR0FmS_/s1600-h/04-15~05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieTA7YSW_4Hd6VW-eHi5SH813rUZCx6WYe_mCzGaurMbzMkTdWI9dbjrZXws2uUn9wTgkmPK0XW0ohGRWpHEPoJ3rCDODeA-qUrCX_H06U3sYVswwgtPPURhN_3p8A5saZvCIoZjR0FmS_/s200/04-15~05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325124240739004770" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Pents, Death, Judgment<br /><br />Normally, this outcome would be terrifying, but look how positive when it's speaking of something one wants to be rid of! I hate to jinx myself but by Goddess, this looks promising!<br /><br />Now I'm even more excited for tomorrow!<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-82207091524848043712009-04-09T13:36:00.002-04:002009-04-09T17:17:48.953-04:00Experiment 2 Part 2<div style="text-align: center;">Sorry for the delay, was waiting on our Great Leader for some insight into these positional meanings.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1. The source of my Light<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIMHsezrFtv2QuhcTRPm7mhc-gDsX6TOkFKnDviAQquKzdwC2wolKjEcw5BxZI8eIfM9rH8djyNjsDqgvdIYXJ3_9ZCFLZObw-SvsluappBaxV1kcwuGm-kTfarar3FxjVbgPQmhaEUZbM/s1600-h/02~02-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIMHsezrFtv2QuhcTRPm7mhc-gDsX6TOkFKnDviAQquKzdwC2wolKjEcw5BxZI8eIfM9rH8djyNjsDqgvdIYXJ3_9ZCFLZObw-SvsluappBaxV1kcwuGm-kTfarar3FxjVbgPQmhaEUZbM/s200/02~02-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320304341772925666" border="0" /></a>5 Swords, Queen Cups, Fool<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This is where our "personality" or "light" developed and began to 'blossom'. This card indicates the 'root' of our personality.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The 5 and the Fool clearly show an ability to pick up the pieces and move on, that nothing is really all that bad. I tend to not dwell on things. I have a saying that if no one is dying then it isn't a big deal. The Queen shows a good understanding of emotions. By that I mean that I am not one to deceive myself. I am quite aware of my emotions and where they come from but I don't always know what to do with them. I also think that 5 speaks of the abandonment I experienced early in my childhood.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2. The source of my Shadow<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jO3WMYAhEQWQPOnxzBlp7CFkYKFAkqc1WG8mD_z6EKgKO9gSOPk5rpjI2_WbcxzVyMqHSdcQdnl419AnvDFvnNNuR-o2O-RYfTYi0Hq6SYOKkZw8eiKKeRaNhm12UTX8TCgbiYFX0dhu/s1600-h/02~02-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jO3WMYAhEQWQPOnxzBlp7CFkYKFAkqc1WG8mD_z6EKgKO9gSOPk5rpjI2_WbcxzVyMqHSdcQdnl419AnvDFvnNNuR-o2O-RYfTYi0Hq6SYOKkZw8eiKKeRaNhm12UTX8TCgbiYFX0dhu/s200/02~02-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320304473357352882" border="0" /></a><br />9 Swords, 5 Wands, Justice<br /><br />This represents the "root" of our shadow side. Where it began to develop and .. well, I can't seem to think of a word that's similar to 'blossom' but more in a shadowy way.<br /><br />Well, that 9 could be my anxiety. I really feel the 5 and Justice are saying that it was a natural reaction to that 9. Like, well what else were you supposed to do with that? But I don't like how she is sitting on one side of the scale.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">3. Where does my Light shine the most?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyyh2tL3u8GbuIGLQRQ075teCUoG45Jxl1yan9j-F_mnw20ZQEXZlBa5woETlL9DV6sz4_6LMwpqUEpEKEaYnCDu4rHjbM-qVf1hd0n3GEhXhINqZ3HxMX6ViCPL91tAy8zG8SRZ0dbsk/s1600-h/02~02-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyyh2tL3u8GbuIGLQRQ075teCUoG45Jxl1yan9j-F_mnw20ZQEXZlBa5woETlL9DV6sz4_6LMwpqUEpEKEaYnCDu4rHjbM-qVf1hd0n3GEhXhINqZ3HxMX6ViCPL91tAy8zG8SRZ0dbsk/s200/02~02-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320304590078653730" border="0" /></a><br />6 Swords, Ace Wands, 3 Pents<br /><br />This position indicates where you are able to express the traits, talents, abilities, characteristics given by your personality card the most. As well as, the times and instances you're able to .. well.. shine!<br /><br />Ok, well I'm good at learning my lessons and moving on. I do get many sparks of passion and am always following something new and that three is showing that I am good at doing that. This is funny because I think a lot of these things that I do are mostly a distraction from my anxiety.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">4. What does my Shadow hide the most?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfLlQtN-Ra8swwLS-Hn-Mq4rdzCAi5Mjvz1Do5BN7g-rJ-D8DpMhudqJdyMdfnJbV9EC5NeF2kSB114D1zCQLg4cbVdW9wjf6Z-t-KwP2j6zx0i10ktkoT7ULi8hJeYiIIcDLj8GdCncHF/s1600-h/02~02-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfLlQtN-Ra8swwLS-Hn-Mq4rdzCAi5Mjvz1Do5BN7g-rJ-D8DpMhudqJdyMdfnJbV9EC5NeF2kSB114D1zCQLg4cbVdW9wjf6Z-t-KwP2j6zx0i10ktkoT7ULi8hJeYiIIcDLj8GdCncHF/s200/02~02-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320304744032403778" border="0" /></a><br />8 Wands, 7 Swords, Wheel<br /><br />These are the areas you need to work upon, reflect upon, look into yourself, heal, etc etc, that you may or may not be aware off, but your 'Shadow' card prevents you from truly "seeing" and "understanding"<br /><br />Wow, um I'm a bit stumped on this one, as I always am when the Wheel shows up. But the placement of the 8 and 7 makes me think that the defending and planning that I do is really taking me away from what I'm supposed to do. So, in a sense, my anxiety is distracting me from my real life purpose. How strange that is to think. As most who read this blog know, I thought my anxiety was punishment from a former life, or here in the now to further my eternal being. Now, I think this may not be the case.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">5. What does my Light want me to see the most?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqx75ebqmFs0mhJHpyrqyvzoa8uF7J-MPqn6In8BA4Fxxs3UN0XJ4JBi589eyXoUPABruxHOWRyvEecGVWpDfe6NHsuQgfXOKq2VmvBJUFLTmGwfqtBP45I1yCzrafTEmrSkK4Iw0dkVIN/s1600-h/02~02-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqx75ebqmFs0mhJHpyrqyvzoa8uF7J-MPqn6In8BA4Fxxs3UN0XJ4JBi589eyXoUPABruxHOWRyvEecGVWpDfe6NHsuQgfXOKq2VmvBJUFLTmGwfqtBP45I1yCzrafTEmrSkK4Iw0dkVIN/s200/02~02-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320304901064896530" border="0" /></a><br />3 Cups, Page Wands, 7 Cups<br /><br />This position represents areas/moments/situations, etc that your 'Light' is willing to shine, and where you can also 'shine' bright as ever, but you may not really know this, or probably do, but were afraid or weren't willing enough to let yourself "shine".<br /><br />Ok, let's look at that 3 because with the 7 it is true to my life. I'm always on the outside, on purpose. I like to see people having a good time, I just don't want to be involved. I can, of coure, I have many friends and get along well with people, I just prefer to be alone. Perhaps that Page is telling me that there is something more to involvement that I could benefit from<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">6. What does my Shadow want to hide from me the most?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYf4CdLkQMNxhPQwbuP6LfoiXYdSygQV9Ac9Sjg6CaLXliwcnLPVPYd0zwZzMYcRe9wohVM4CtdLutl2us5DVU9ADaMA926f8-nodIAZxIHs-O0oj6bQoh_pwaRerHzzB3korqyTOMsxow/s1600-h/02~02-06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYf4CdLkQMNxhPQwbuP6LfoiXYdSygQV9Ac9Sjg6CaLXliwcnLPVPYd0zwZzMYcRe9wohVM4CtdLutl2us5DVU9ADaMA926f8-nodIAZxIHs-O0oj6bQoh_pwaRerHzzB3korqyTOMsxow/s200/02~02-06.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322747207424431234" border="0" /></a><br />6 Wands, 10 Cups, 2 Swords<br /><br />These are areas that we choose to (consciously and unconsciously) 'block' and 'ignore', thinking that avoiding them will make them go away, but doing so only makes them harder to release. Acknowledging them and healing them is the only way of truly releasing them and finding a sense of inner peace.<br /><br />This is tough. One of the things I ignore is my family. Or rather, I prefer not to think about it. I had a difficult childhood and my family is scattered. We don't know how to be a family and that has always bothered me and I know it is a part of things for me in the present. Perhaps that 2 is telling me that I don't know what to do, which I already know that. I don't know how to mend what happened to me and how to make it all ok now.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7. How do I create a harmonious balance between my Light and Shadow.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66KJ_RFiOLIrLEaaz8JQtWY-pI1xQ-sye2EKkkNbt_FdofetCTmSPGHsyNtluw1PV7__4t6niERzdTpDq0Se93eNwvYmPm3e4DqcTkNBqd-vcTHCSdRfUPQJIfapdCdxYZ7NVGQugDnie/s1600-h/02~02-07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 147px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66KJ_RFiOLIrLEaaz8JQtWY-pI1xQ-sye2EKkkNbt_FdofetCTmSPGHsyNtluw1PV7__4t6niERzdTpDq0Se93eNwvYmPm3e4DqcTkNBqd-vcTHCSdRfUPQJIfapdCdxYZ7NVGQugDnie/s200/02~02-07.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320305153348277298" border="0" /></a><br />3 Swords, Ace Pents, Tower<br /><br />Well, thanks a lot! If there ever was a suicide card..... I'm kidding! I need to cut out those parts of me and change the foundations of my thinking so that I may begin again, stable in this world. I love that Ace. I see so much potential for really living in the world with that card. *sigh* That is what I wish for more than anything.<br /><br />Well, that was a tough read and I will need to go back over it in a few days. It's a lot to think about.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-20891081994678295762009-03-20T01:24:00.001-04:002009-03-20T01:26:07.571-04:00Light and Shadow Spread<div style="text-align: center;">It feels like forever since I've done a real reading. This should be a nice break from the intense experiments. I think I'm reading it out of order but that's the way it wanted to be read. So there.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Light<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0GQ0hQRYFUYe4PG6UBQxBI5DBic7BQ4PpwiUGiBX3bhjStcZNOpEX8nlISK3x5ga1udr1fQK9v4rPV8D8pMIL778lTJNtk8eTGj3AoqaAF7SxWjqzP62yWtXAcpUtCilVoSz9Q3Si6nKu/s1600-h/0320-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0GQ0hQRYFUYe4PG6UBQxBI5DBic7BQ4PpwiUGiBX3bhjStcZNOpEX8nlISK3x5ga1udr1fQK9v4rPV8D8pMIL778lTJNtk8eTGj3AoqaAF7SxWjqzP62yWtXAcpUtCilVoSz9Q3Si6nKu/s200/0320-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315127554079466274" border="0" /></a>2 Pents, Strength, 6 Swords<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So, this is supposed to be my light... well, I like how the images stack on top of one another. I'm going to start at the bottom. I'm going to step out of my traditional learned meanings and just go by the image itself, I think this deck reads better that way. I like how the two arms are outstretched, almost victorious with those pents. Like, "Look at me ma!" I see this as the balancing of myself. Being able to be normal while holding my anxiety in check. I really hope the collective "you" that reads this blog are not too tired of hearing me read about my anxiety. I've started meds today, so maybe I will soon be able to read about something else... moving on. So, I have this balance, and then here comes Strength to carry me away in that boat. Yeah, that would be my Light.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Shadow<br /></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYoHqdwtO0k6mjT4QME39ND0s5x4ye5s79qvqc3XtfW2O1ZpeCPeq5DVk7H4nb-Nkaep7Dp4MRzlLi5nVVxK4zSCyq7nHe72gAOk7DdmbCc6Hr_owGcTgBosjvMytJawNdbaska8PtPh4/s1600-h/0320-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYoHqdwtO0k6mjT4QME39ND0s5x4ye5s79qvqc3XtfW2O1ZpeCPeq5DVk7H4nb-Nkaep7Dp4MRzlLi5nVVxK4zSCyq7nHe72gAOk7DdmbCc6Hr_owGcTgBosjvMytJawNdbaska8PtPh4/s200/0320-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315127807626451074" border="0" /></a>Page Swords, King Pents, 4 Cups<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the spread, these figures were facing away from my Signifactor. So they all have their backs turned to her, I used the Q of Pents. So, the King would be me advancing from the Q. I see that as living in the "real" world, tied by all my senses. Which is pretty funny. Sometimes I get so tied up with tv shows that I forget that I don't live in them sometimes. The Page, well she's off running with scissors! That 4 is mostly my "If only I didn't have this anxiety..." which I do all the time!<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">How you sometimes move into the shadow<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqD0AWq8Vt0TzSZzLWEiyoETYreSRa8gOzpvAREyu3YloXST25KR6dXKOrLHoSbUcftPV4YDnc3sZBZfQNY7GQO67Zkbj5KVAuUaMlIYT0UGlWI2QGU357s5_voQ-DryRE-OHfq1pzRpFP/s1600-h/0320-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 145px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqD0AWq8Vt0TzSZzLWEiyoETYreSRa8gOzpvAREyu3YloXST25KR6dXKOrLHoSbUcftPV4YDnc3sZBZfQNY7GQO67Zkbj5KVAuUaMlIYT0UGlWI2QGU357s5_voQ-DryRE-OHfq1pzRpFP/s200/0320-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315127688378005954" border="0" /></a>5 Pents, Moon, Queen Cups<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span>Well, when I start to take stock of everything I've lost, I go into the shadow. When I drink, I go into my shadow. When I allow myself to stop denying my emotions.... When I allow myself to dream of things that I will never be able to do... I go into the shadow. I even had to stop the "what if we had a baby" talk because I just can't take it. And I know I must let him go if he continues. But that is a topic for another time....<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">How you can move further into the light<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQtredgMOg5qvhymgB3Ie-_OQRa7PuOoy5nELo9nD38JSFWjWNetFinPFFH_zuf0eMbIV17sGq9wcaz4eL3I3EQi7cTCeSv2AXApvJxWv8GwN7lCh9OfrYwuN2kb6qtUX7Gn0cpPdCohHz/s1600-h/0320-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQtredgMOg5qvhymgB3Ie-_OQRa7PuOoy5nELo9nD38JSFWjWNetFinPFFH_zuf0eMbIV17sGq9wcaz4eL3I3EQi7cTCeSv2AXApvJxWv8GwN7lCh9OfrYwuN2kb6qtUX7Gn0cpPdCohHz/s200/0320-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315127917486719282" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">8 Swords, 9 Cups, Emperor<br /><br />The stacking here is strange. And the 9 seems to be almost in front of the others. There are times, when I am medicated, that I do enjoy myself and my life. But behind is always the fact that I am tied to this thing that rules my life. I should look at this image positively. Maybe the image of the Emperor is protection from that 8. Perhaps that is how I should look at it. Use those rules to separate the 8 and 9. I know it is possible.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I had a thought earlier. I had a conversation about my anxiety, where I referred to it as a fight to the death. I was encouraged to try to look at it positively so it would be easier for me. I think I thought of a way. But then, swiss cheese memory over here, I forgot it. I think it had something to do with doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, but those things I don't do. But I hate doing those things and I talk myself out of them. But now I've lost my point....<br /></div></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-75348937720591640872009-03-17T01:50:00.001-04:002009-03-17T02:12:46.501-04:00Experiment 2 ~ Part 1Now it's time to look at the Personality and Shadow cards....<br /><br />The Personality Card is the card that symbolizes what you have come into this lifetime to learn<br />My Personality Card is The World, shown here as the rainbow colored squiggle.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCifojdnasN38TjF9rq5frKYS6iAt1b2KC4Ibi3SLwjv_NiILsGa8BSGXGdjIvS6PPqPSXbjVWlzvJomF_UQNUXyDSE-QIHQbZTlg-wehd6XIFyRH9hZF_kTW6O7W5Ivu1Yup5T5JiJgYB/s1600-h/Me.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCifojdnasN38TjF9rq5frKYS6iAt1b2KC4Ibi3SLwjv_NiILsGa8BSGXGdjIvS6PPqPSXbjVWlzvJomF_UQNUXyDSE-QIHQbZTlg-wehd6XIFyRH9hZF_kTW6O7W5Ivu1Yup5T5JiJgYB/s200/Me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314035314557913522" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Qualities we show openly in the world ~ I hate to say this but people think I have it all together. All my friends think my life is perfect and that I have no problems. I don't think I really try to portray that, in fact I am quite open with how not put together I am. I think it is because I don't let little things bother me. I don't care that I'm poor, or that we live in a small place, and sometimes we have to eat ramen because we can't afford anything else. I don't care that I don't have the newest gadget or that my car is 12 years old. I have a man that I love, I have two adorable little dogs that adore me, I have my family, and my nephew. And that is all I care about. Money doesn't matter, bills don't matter, car problems don't matter. We have a warm place to live (at least now we do!) and we are together, that is all I need.<br /><br />How we represent ourselves outwardly ~ I try to share myself with everyone. I think because I've spent so much of my life feeling alone that I want everyone I know to know they are not alone. I want others to know that life is always full of problems but that doesn't mean it has to ruin your day. I just think that we have the wrong idea about life. Nothing is ever perfect and that's ok. How boring would it be if everything was perfect..<br /><br />What tasks we have to complete in the world ~ Oh my goodness. I'm always trying to change the world. I take on big tasks, usually too big for me to handle and, quite often, it involves lots of people. I have no idea why I do that but this card here makes a lot of sense to me. I even went to college with the intention of using my degree to help people in need. Little did I know that the law is all about making money, not about making things better. I was so disenchanted that I can't bring myself to do the work knowing what I know now.<br /><br />What challenges to set ourselves ~ I always say, if you're going to do it then do it. I love to challenge myself, to broaden my outlook on anything and everything. I find that I am drawn to things that make me uncomfortable, almost like I instinctively know how to produce growth in myself. I find any challenge exciting, from a simple crossword to living every day with my debilitating anxiety disorder, well not that that one is ever all that exciting. In fact, as I'm thinking about it now, perhaps that is why I haven't offed myself! I won't lose the challenge, I won't let it win.<br /><br />The Hidden Factor or Shadow Card indicates aspects of yourself that you fear, reject, or don't see or relate with. Sometimes even flatly deny. However, you tend to remain sensitive to these qualities and therefore tend to see them in others via the psychological mechanism of "projection".<br /><br />My Shadow Card is the Hanged Man, shown in the pic above as the cocoon.<br /><br />Some of this I have noted in our other experiments, I was a step ahead of you! The hanged man, especially the image of a cocoon, really does relate to my life. It began when I was 12 and my anxiety appeared. Over the 2 decades since, I have formed this cocoon around me, foolishly believing I am only safe inside my home. I don't know why I think it is so scary out there or why I get panicky just going to get the mail. I live fearlessly in my head. I experience things through my window. I really do wish my meds would work enough for me to get back out there. I fear staying as I am just as much as I fear a trip to the grocery store. But the noise, there is so much noise. People are so loud and angry and selfish. It pains me to be around them.<br /><br />I am not sure what aspect of this card I could be denying. I hate to read this card as sacrifice because I have sacrificed enough in this life and I refuse to let go of any more. I suppose it could be speaking towards me looking at things differently. In fact, just last month I had a conversation about my anxiety where I described it as a daily fight to the death. The person I was speaking with suggested that if I could look at it in a more positive way, I might make more progress. I was intrigued by the suggestion, of course, but still have not found a way to do so. But not for lack of trying. I suppose this card is mostly tied to my anxiety, since that is the only area of my life that I can't figure out. There probably is a lot of denial in there somewhere but I'm darned if I can find it.<br /><br />I've done a search of the AT and here's some things I'd like to hit on, all by thirteen:<br /><br />"The Hanged Man represents a period when you are upside down, you are a traitor to the right-side-up world. You see things inversely, in a way that may seem wrong or traitorous to others, and you act on that view in a way that you know will invoke consequences and require sacrifice on your part. The result is that you end up hanging suspended, still seeing the world from your upside down perspective, waiting for the consequences to end, and the changes caused by your actions to come to fruition."<br /><br />This very much describes what I believe my anxiety-ridden life to be. So it is not so hidden, but perhaps, my goal in this lifetime.<br /><br />"Thus, the Hanged Man represents a "betrayal" against the status quo. It represents, ultimately, not merely your own change in perspective, but a way in which you can change everything."<br /><br />I very much agree with this as well. I know only I have the power to do this but I can't seem to find it.<br /><br />"What we have to remember, I think, is that the Traitor has come to mean someone willing to sacrifice himself to go against the status quo. He is not a traitor in the sense of Benedict Arnold--rather he is a traitor in the sense that Prometheus was a traitor against the gods of Mt. Olympus in giving man fire. Prometheus suffered for that betrayal, but he was willing to suffer for it."<br /><br />A part of me does believe that this trial is going to be of some benefit to me, but one I may not know of until I cease to be. As long as there is some reason for my sacrifice I am ok with it. Even if it were to save one person from this... and now I am seeing myself as a martyr and that is not how I feel at all. It is like I said above, speaking of the World card, I take too much on my shoulders. If God had come to me and said, "Either you go through this or I give it to someone else." I would take it on. Perhaps knowing I have the strength where another wouldn't. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, no one deserves this.<br /><br />There definitely is a great difference between the World and the Hanged Man. One is focused on the greater whole, the "outer, while the other is "inner" and completely self involved. I suppose I do go through bouts of both of those. Or perhaps it is more fitting to say that I strive for a balance between the two. I do go through periods where I am so focused inward, like the last few months, that I cannot even begin to look out. And I know quite soon, my focus will change to the outer and I will cease to be so self involved. I can't help thinking it is tied to my anxiety, as it has worsened in the last few months. And when I'm not leaving my house, it is difficult to focus on what is outside of my little world.<br /><br />Well, those are my thoughts on this today. I may add more later.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-23963747728452003412009-03-10T11:16:00.000-04:002009-03-10T11:17:27.140-04:00Another Mind Blowing Reading.....<div style="text-align: center;">This week I decided to use a spread shared by our own KK!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">"A Message from My Spirit Guide" Spread<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What should I remember that I am forgetting?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeZECB9CrSFuK9dBgbIwWQUL9Rz8MmieYby4KcaORAG-XWfMwt48VxWJ_CyuORXmeDkdCf14PHRhF1y3HbsPOUSWKB2my0mkspaxZNdD5K_AppbB29WG5l4UD6SUQ-t9qFNfa25qWlQepn/s1600-h/0310-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeZECB9CrSFuK9dBgbIwWQUL9Rz8MmieYby4KcaORAG-XWfMwt48VxWJ_CyuORXmeDkdCf14PHRhF1y3HbsPOUSWKB2my0mkspaxZNdD5K_AppbB29WG5l4UD6SUQ-t9qFNfa25qWlQepn/s200/0310-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311576986488649250" border="0" /></a>Chariot, Queen Wands, 10 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I find so weird that she is turning away from the dark horse to look at the family. Can you feel the love in this card? I feel like it's telling me that I am not alone. That there are people who care about me. Perhaps the two figures are my guides. And they are here, sending me love and watching over me, even if I can't see them. I really do see this as a confirmation of my spiritual beliefs. That the side of the light horse is normalcy, and the dark horse is life here on earth. I don't know if that makes sense but it is my belief that we are here for a reason, whether it be for our own good or the good of others, there is a reason. So, here I feel it's telling me that yes, there are things that I can't see and things I don't remember, but that doesn't mean it isn't there rooting for me. I'm finding it difficult to see myself as the Queen of Wands as she is the exact opposite of me. But perhaps this is a reminder that I do have that inside of me somewhere.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What is my Spirit Guide trying to tell me?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifDhkTV2lE_3LrlQxcB7ek88yfTOXQG1RSa7Wewq1BRpAqrNZKXtrpL1LSK6odddyx4Xc3hLoeJGV7y40E_GQIN03hn-oHrXu0yR1_Q6QjWxx3QYxkFgH9BAg59_ugrlskvxGEyMxdwgiy/s1600-h/0310-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifDhkTV2lE_3LrlQxcB7ek88yfTOXQG1RSa7Wewq1BRpAqrNZKXtrpL1LSK6odddyx4Xc3hLoeJGV7y40E_GQIN03hn-oHrXu0yR1_Q6QjWxx3QYxkFgH9BAg59_ugrlskvxGEyMxdwgiy/s200/0310-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311577101750621266" border="0" /></a>10 Wands, Moon, 5 Cups<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I think it is important to note that the 5 of Cups is overshadowing the 10 of Wands. It also looks as if the 10 is trying to pick up the 3 up-right cups. Ok, there is a lot going on in this one. First, the third eye of the moon is the only eye open. I feel this is significant. Perhaps meaning that I need to pay attention to how I "see," or how I gather my intel. Not just by sight but through all my senses, especially when it comes from inside of me. I feel the 10 speaks to the burdens that I have in this life, mainly my anxiety but the rest of it too, and that I need to start reaching for those cups that are full.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What is the advice my Spirit Guide is giving me?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfE5GNv-cjKOM5gArIfszRJU-pLlMkKEx1rBSzMx3bQ2zLIr6SRufCFCJz1ILECpZewWCMuUBEcKc203BdmYqY18M4u1On9WY1CBx1rzjnufO348H224NxEyMFe4ASXSLdv1wB51I6tIxs/s1600-h/0310-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfE5GNv-cjKOM5gArIfszRJU-pLlMkKEx1rBSzMx3bQ2zLIr6SRufCFCJz1ILECpZewWCMuUBEcKc203BdmYqY18M4u1On9WY1CBx1rzjnufO348H224NxEyMFe4ASXSLdv1wB51I6tIxs/s200/0310-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311577286728171218" border="0" /></a>5 Wands, Page Wands, 10 Swords<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This one is more difficult because of that 10 all by itself. I feel the Page is a message to learn to have fun instead of letting myself become so bogged down by all the fighting I do. It's a daily struggle for me to keep hold of my sanity, at least I think so. And I've been told, by an AT friend, that I need to not think of it as a fight. I believe I called it a fight to the death. That I need to look at it in a positive way, although I have not yet figured out how to do so. That 10 is still giving me trouble. I'd like to think that the worst has already happened. I've gone through my illness, my father, my rape, been abandoned by so many that I trusted. Who was it that said we create what we fear? Well, that is my life. I'm terrified to leave the safety of my home, I am constantly bombarded with anxiety throughout my day even when I am at home. My life is a mess and I see no way out but death. Perhaps I am at the 10, the worst is here, I am living it. It cannot get any worse. But still, my brain can think of new ways to torture me. So maybe the advice is to fight as that Page. This Page always reminds me of my nephew and how fearless and joyful he is. How everything is exciting and fun. I very much wish I could be like that.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What would be the outcome if I decide to follow this path?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-tjI2dKQHuCEhCNtsCcCxWBTUC40dHzt2-eWFlal0KL7gzdj5wtYvrhTDMaYWHJIaNsgFzyMMl32E0feqf6visGxypXkq0ehFcHaeEmXTumZvGNF38lYawKoTOIWJdteRJEIB2eaXdHoH/s1600-h/0310-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-tjI2dKQHuCEhCNtsCcCxWBTUC40dHzt2-eWFlal0KL7gzdj5wtYvrhTDMaYWHJIaNsgFzyMMl32E0feqf6visGxypXkq0ehFcHaeEmXTumZvGNF38lYawKoTOIWJdteRJEIB2eaXdHoH/s200/0310-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311577431407138818" border="0" /></a>Queen Cups, Page Pents, 3 Pents<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Now this Queen I see as more of my psychic self, when I can reach it, which is about once a day during my meditation. When I am at peace and full of love and relaxed and receptive. Perhaps that Page is the lessening of my dependence on the physical world. I find that I am oftentimes too logical and too stuck on what I see with my eyes and touch with my hands. I can't help but think that 3 is my progress in the spiritual realm. I know, I've always known, that I am here to develop further. I think this is saying that if I am able to even live with my anxiety to the extent that I can still have a full life, that is all I need to progress.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Very insightful reading. I plan to do this spread a few times a year. It is quite an eye-opener.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-28293005313444408542009-02-24T00:10:00.006-05:002009-02-26T02:19:32.271-05:00Experiment 1 Part 3Ok, those of you that are not doing the experiment, feel free to skip this post. I've added in my later impressions along with my meditative experience.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4oiBGl_QjQC7u75cRq9i2YUGmpGixUr_oLtdyKQ700Ae64Y2-jFj8QM5S2gfRRGZBfPgtc-dqtApmCWEad-B4NJGNRHf9l5u3E-anHgINElGQij-PttEsgQZrbsXKpZvAWgjteXeXpZ6U/s1600-h/Me.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4oiBGl_QjQC7u75cRq9i2YUGmpGixUr_oLtdyKQ700Ae64Y2-jFj8QM5S2gfRRGZBfPgtc-dqtApmCWEad-B4NJGNRHf9l5u3E-anHgINElGQij-PttEsgQZrbsXKpZvAWgjteXeXpZ6U/s200/Me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306981714377485794" border="0" /></a><br />The first thing I did was poke the chrysalis. I'm not sure why I did it, but I felt the voice of the Empress ask me why I did it. She has a Jamaican accent. Not sure why. She says "child" like "chi-il."<br />"Am I really in there?" I asked.<br />She sighed.<br />"And I'm safe?"<br />"Of course dear, why wouldn't you be safe?"<br />"But what if it falls? What if the wind blows it right off this branch?"<br />"Child, who do you think makes the wind?"<br />I had nothing to say at this point so I tried to look beyond what my eyes saw. I felt warm, as if sun was shining on me but I don't recall seeing the sun. I did feel a slight breeze and the branch did shake but the chrysalis held on.<br /><br />I tried to look into it, as it was a bit well, transparent. I could make out a vague form that was moving around but not enough that I knew what I was looking at.<br /><br />"Don't you be poking that again." She said.<br />"What will come out of there?"<br />"You will."<br />"But what will I be?"<br />"Just you."<br />"But I'm me now. What's happening to me in there?"<br />"You are growing. Isn't it exciting!"<br />By this point I think I know what she means.<br />"Did I pick this? Was it my doing?"<br />She's humming.<br />"Am I working something off? Did I do something awful?"<br />"You know better, you've always been the good girl."<br />"I mean before this life."<br />"Good girl." echoes.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8nSwNNqEQS2Fkl25K6oYiYMnW6Rp7Htev0rgQGfdGTjybJ27EZP-6uoPLBQ0laXOo6syoBkKYMz066A5uY4iilJ-TIs8N7ROhjfWctHTk72MYQEtEbcjoX2a51zq2igLv4hEiMiZBwLG1/s1600-h/0102-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8nSwNNqEQS2Fkl25K6oYiYMnW6Rp7Htev0rgQGfdGTjybJ27EZP-6uoPLBQ0laXOo6syoBkKYMz066A5uY4iilJ-TIs8N7ROhjfWctHTk72MYQEtEbcjoX2a51zq2igLv4hEiMiZBwLG1/s200/0102-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306985876557681522" border="0" /></a>Why have I been bestowed this card as my soul card.<br />"It is the difficult path that has the most reward. And look at how many cups you have already." She sounds almost proud of me.<br />"I still don't understand what the Empress has to do with my soul."<br />"The gift of life. Mother's womb."<br />"Yes, but I am not a mother."<br />"No, child, you were born."<br />I have no idea what she means here at all.<br />"Born for what?"<br />"For this."<br />Could she be any more vague? Come on. I did notice the yellow light coming from that cup "I" seem to be reaching for. For some reason I think Holy Grail, but in a Monty Python kind of way. "Are you suggesting that coconuts are migratory?" hahaha, let's move on...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA2i_4aZQ8RV2wktYT9LfpQMAHqNA_dj080IKCSu31G__n4MDkdWCsQaYZPFrQydBWV0GeMd9Cxyeudqg0kcsK-tPBaoTcQx5lmlBVFLSKAPLiFa3l74IPhX9ADDvlQP95KHDrucHFKFCo/s1600-h/0102-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA2i_4aZQ8RV2wktYT9LfpQMAHqNA_dj080IKCSu31G__n4MDkdWCsQaYZPFrQydBWV0GeMd9Cxyeudqg0kcsK-tPBaoTcQx5lmlBVFLSKAPLiFa3l74IPhX9ADDvlQP95KHDrucHFKFCo/s200/0102-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306987891046048402" border="0" /></a>Gifts it Brings Me<br />Now, I know I'm gonna sound like a total fool here for a minute, but..... remember in the Prophecy movies.. you know, Christopher Walken, Eric Stoltz, Viggo as the Devil.... the whole war between heaven and hell.... I got defense here. Which is weird because I don't believe in heaven or hell or the devil. I see the devil (as a card) as our life here on Earth.<br />"I am getting stronger? Because I am here now?"<br />The Jamaican woman is silent now, I can hear her softly humming but she's done answering me.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMQFIhyphenhyphenF5SY4B9ITErNvJziYqn1geKtfapwKf2A17Kpkvitgf8bP_mjN3StneGCp7JmtlupkJceFRPWAIpPMTyfUkk7LUp99xKBcMsm5PIBx4DiI0NP3zWYqYs5o6G_iU2U-AYQSm4jfzF/s1600-h/0102-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMQFIhyphenhyphenF5SY4B9ITErNvJziYqn1geKtfapwKf2A17Kpkvitgf8bP_mjN3StneGCp7JmtlupkJceFRPWAIpPMTyfUkk7LUp99xKBcMsm5PIBx4DiI0NP3zWYqYs5o6G_iU2U-AYQSm4jfzF/s200/0102-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306989122410445778" border="0" /></a>What lessons do I learn<br />"Will you speak with me now?"<br />"Yes child."<br />I'm oddly comforted by her calling me child now.<br />"So this is a lesson?"<br />"You don't believe."<br />"Don't believe what?"<br />"It will be clear one day."<br />"So you're not gonna tell me then."<br />"It is not for me to tell you. You know, just not believing it."<br />"Ok, how bout I talk it out a little then...."<br />"Do that."<br />"Bare bones, I see two people separated by death."<br />"Yes, but you don't believe."<br />"What does that have to do with a lesson?"<br />I get the feeling that this is all way over my head at this point. And not likely to be something I will understand while in human form. I think I need to pass over before any of this makes sense.<br />I stayed to watch the two forms and the scythe. They were almost rowing with it. One would pull it towards them, and then back towards the other. But they both always had their hands on it. It was weird.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HoNz92tKLeG5eiFXqvU5rtsrJLH2rGYHpmuRJzz2zhwNEdtzxJzkqRAgEMAOq9RHgTFEOJWyrlmj8_eWzwwMKNrgvMfW763QkKZg8cMlxA9RMJW1N-7Dj58DQ18rf0CRC8GKKqIw03Wk/s1600-h/0102-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HoNz92tKLeG5eiFXqvU5rtsrJLH2rGYHpmuRJzz2zhwNEdtzxJzkqRAgEMAOq9RHgTFEOJWyrlmj8_eWzwwMKNrgvMfW763QkKZg8cMlxA9RMJW1N-7Dj58DQ18rf0CRC8GKKqIw03Wk/s200/0102-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306990868352467026" border="0" /></a>Soul's journey leads here:<br />"So.... this is where I'm going."<br />"Um-hm."<br />"Does this mean this isn't my last time? I have to come back again?"<br />"Only if you want to."<br />"Will I want to?"<br />She laughs at me, "You always want to."<br />"Do I like the punishment?"<br />"No punishment. Growth. You are growing."<br />"For what?"<br />"For who." She says.<br />At first I thought she meant God but now I think I'm wrong. I think it's for me, or my soul or whatever. I think she is right, about me wanting to come back even though I'm convinced I'm currently in hell (as in hell one earth). But I am so competitive with myself. Having to get straight A's in college, always having to do my best at everything. And re-doing things if I haven't done them to my standards. I think I, and by this "I" I am referring to the soul that I do not know for sure even exists, anyway I think I am wanting to be the best, do the best, and work the hardest. Which is quite the core of my existence in this lifetime, as well as being a "good girl." <br />I tried getting into this one but there was no movement.<br /><br />Meanwhile, back to the first card......<br />"So I really won't fall out of here?"<br />"No child, you are safe and sound."<br />"Why don't I ever feel that way?"<br />"Because you don't know what you know."<br />"Will I not know it until I die?"<br />"Depends on you."<br />"Can you tell me anything that will help me?"<br />She sighs again. "You would not want me to."<br />"Why not? Oh... is it like cheating?"<br />She laughs, "Something like that. Better you do it yourself. Don't worry. You worry too much this time around. You forget to live. You forget why you are here."<br />"Can you remind me?"<br />"To grow."<br /><br />I swear, if this woman had been real I think I would have decked her. I don't feel that I got any insights, but I no longer feel bad about that. Perhaps I am not meant to know unil I'm back to wherever it is that I came from.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-83484947087101766612009-02-16T23:15:00.010-05:002009-02-17T00:38:24.234-05:00So... I Met This Guy....<div style="text-align: center;">and I found him to be quite intriguing. So I decided to see what a friendship between us might look like. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking to leave my dude. I'm quite happy where I am but I can always use more friends.....<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1 What does he think of me<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitgyG9LOcAn6RFzEabnHsw9tCLJ7IfZa5cmMlPnDiKahW9hOuAimM3rp0EnJwzmrfCOQyYTPk1yEHcEa6bWjH0SUneD-LmvjEGSHsh9TokoYEOHR-qgTZrnf30857sQj13ucSLe_uawgNK/s1600-h/0217-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitgyG9LOcAn6RFzEabnHsw9tCLJ7IfZa5cmMlPnDiKahW9hOuAimM3rp0EnJwzmrfCOQyYTPk1yEHcEa6bWjH0SUneD-LmvjEGSHsh9TokoYEOHR-qgTZrnf30857sQj13ucSLe_uawgNK/s200/0217-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303627317142018114" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 Cups, 7 Swords, Moon<br /><br />We did seem to hit it off, I met him when he sat down to get a reading for the charity event I did. He thinks I am like-minded and fun. I think he might find me a bit <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">intriguing</span> as well, given the Moon here. He thinks I am mysterious, probably because I am a tarot reader. The 7 of Swords has me a bit confused. I told him outright that I was engaged so there would be no confusion.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2 What does he feel towards me<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWtTRodrsAZv4nrGELc4Cz3iJG-1ryZfj1vayYF3nYK3OKWkAYhRZ6Xgf7FHIuCgu_SA4DkJoDFdMcakd4oZOisP85W_d5laB5ScYcRmTZayz6LbUXUyxLEiHvXzdqB5E9pq3Zl1gyp7D/s1600-h/0217-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWtTRodrsAZv4nrGELc4Cz3iJG-1ryZfj1vayYF3nYK3OKWkAYhRZ6Xgf7FHIuCgu_SA4DkJoDFdMcakd4oZOisP85W_d5laB5ScYcRmTZayz6LbUXUyxLEiHvXzdqB5E9pq3Zl1gyp7D/s200/0217-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303627098961392770" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">King Pents, 8 Pents, Wheel<br /><br />This may seem like a strange question for me to put in here but men often take my friendliness as something more so I wanted some insight. However, I usually steer clear of these types of questions so I am unsure how to read this image in this context. At least I see nothing romantic. Perhaps the Wheel is stating that he feels we were meant to meet as well. As for the 8 to King there, that's like apprentice to master.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3 Why were we brought together<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8O56J1nmM4POXk68Tb4LtZcd8-IO_R1ngTSbQ39JGfzdK8sa0vzwG8rfTR_-q_g4GU_LPQKwoHt50fcWvzCcyXVzdmO2Z295SgtKWyaf9Zfuvsj5kqPiWqfx8rhlUT7m3_IlSIiIytZ8/s1600-h/0217-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8O56J1nmM4POXk68Tb4LtZcd8-IO_R1ngTSbQ39JGfzdK8sa0vzwG8rfTR_-q_g4GU_LPQKwoHt50fcWvzCcyXVzdmO2Z295SgtKWyaf9Zfuvsj5kqPiWqfx8rhlUT7m3_IlSIiIytZ8/s200/0217-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303626949267745282" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Sun, 2 Wands, 9 Pents<br /><br />It looks to me that we could bring quite a bit to each other. There was something in our meeting that was strange for me. It is very rare for me to meet someone like him. I had a very easy time conversing with him and I am usually not so quick to take to people. I love that the 9 is lounging, as he is a therapist so she looks like she's on a couch, ready to be "shrunk." I like that 2 there as well, as we could have some passionate discussions and learn from each other. That Sun makes me think that this was no accident. I think we will be great friends.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4 What are his intentions<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWs93n8J7xUeqk91p9Y3O06Xv7sL_s3hDzZKKzfCITCOAfUWlSY2TSZ7fuA_yL25G46Th0p4d_V8a-e4cYtr3wdJm4l6a9_Ze10JPIJwTjIzYQjGqgzl1U7kTS5FhdeN8Qz19tluaxjkbd/s1600-h/0217-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWs93n8J7xUeqk91p9Y3O06Xv7sL_s3hDzZKKzfCITCOAfUWlSY2TSZ7fuA_yL25G46Th0p4d_V8a-e4cYtr3wdJm4l6a9_Ze10JPIJwTjIzYQjGqgzl1U7kTS5FhdeN8Qz19tluaxjkbd/s200/0217-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303626786991710802" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4 Wands, Knight Pents, 3 Pents<br /><br />Well, if that doesn't say therapist, what does? I think this is just the type of person he is. Very caring, genuinely wanting to help people. I think he really has his mind on friendship, which is good. I had hoped to see this here.<br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5 Positives of friendship<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMRlRidMON0VbuJ11B6P5okVeZy-AM4o6-S48MeV8wzS6lhGMtb0HjTanf_Ho8QPXRfa6RD3F5sZB7trXO1CLHavYKc5__E3dlNviqV83V_zfA0MTpFVhGjWH7N0270hrbWn3UKreMYHRj/s1600-h/0217-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMRlRidMON0VbuJ11B6P5okVeZy-AM4o6-S48MeV8wzS6lhGMtb0HjTanf_Ho8QPXRfa6RD3F5sZB7trXO1CLHavYKc5__E3dlNviqV83V_zfA0MTpFVhGjWH7N0270hrbWn3UKreMYHRj/s200/0217-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303626615772871378" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Swords, 6 Cups, 5 Pents<br /><br />Wow, that looks like a whole bunch of moving on doesn't it? I think we will be able to help each other heal somethings. I don't want to go into the things we spoke about but this looks very, very positive!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Negatives of friendship<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8qiOw_qHuChecul2IL87WilKPp8gkL_zb_CM8macxDQeL0xWK2TQPCOznC3y_svPNKxMo3wASolxPur9nJQ3X8Yj6o7mqRA5Nbenzu6q5uUVQ0Y040aWPq8nJF1tP1uF4oZs7NtdzOft5/s1600-h/0217-06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8qiOw_qHuChecul2IL87WilKPp8gkL_zb_CM8macxDQeL0xWK2TQPCOznC3y_svPNKxMo3wASolxPur9nJQ3X8Yj6o7mqRA5Nbenzu6q5uUVQ0Y040aWPq8nJF1tP1uF4oZs7NtdzOft5/s200/0217-06.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303626452568550690" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6 Wands, Emperor, 5 Wands<br /><br />I see power struggles. But perhaps they will be minor. <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7 Advice<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq3ZJPgJoKjt3zgq3UKV2okaQfnXBXeZpbgQIcYjyJgc9Mf0oUnngvBPBTEFT0gq7oU2WWqdcUrPG_7W1-gqd_grzp_baI7U5OizMeEu6wbA09emrzurZmcuco2hfKvPJtO2i6CLEGPhPj/s1600-h/0217-07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq3ZJPgJoKjt3zgq3UKV2okaQfnXBXeZpbgQIcYjyJgc9Mf0oUnngvBPBTEFT0gq7oU2WWqdcUrPG_7W1-gqd_grzp_baI7U5OizMeEu6wbA09emrzurZmcuco2hfKvPJtO2i6CLEGPhPj/s200/0217-07.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303626280408370514" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Page Cups, King Wands, Ace Pents<br /><br />This really looks like a go-ahead for me. To embrace this friendship, offer up my cup, and let us both reap the rewards.<br /><br />I think there was a reason we met. Just something about it seemed destined. It was strange and I never feel that way about people. I think I can learn a lot from him and I am already looking forward to seeing him once we move.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-82621065613287536572009-02-10T21:18:00.006-05:002009-02-10T22:06:28.569-05:00Blockage Spread....<div style="text-align: center;">Since I'm all about being blocked, blown up, hit on the head, dragged under a train.... let's see what will get me out of this funk....<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1) Origin of the blockage/why it has come about<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">King Wands, 8 Cups, Ace Swords<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8dCVKKNPJp12zXyQe1QIijv_II1oq9bokkQeZ1esFFcWlqRBd8rlQwBvWazbickWmD5q42mSOBKRPYhrMRknaYhq2vUJl2bla4CKU1miJcwFQPX0-A_TgHMGyd3tLjW1GgF26-7oJ1-t/s1600-h/0210-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 139px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8dCVKKNPJp12zXyQe1QIijv_II1oq9bokkQeZ1esFFcWlqRBd8rlQwBvWazbickWmD5q42mSOBKRPYhrMRknaYhq2vUJl2bla4CKU1miJcwFQPX0-A_TgHMGyd3tLjW1GgF26-7oJ1-t/s200/0210-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301366778285664050" border="0" /></a>This is going to sound weird, but I think this all started when I moved here. I was trying to be a grown up and start my new life. I had this idea that I could do it on my own. Well, not all on my own, the hubs-to-be was there too. We moved to be closer to his school. I hadn't wanted to move this far away, but I did anyway, to be with him. It was risky, and I normally am not risky. I went off my housing assistance to do this and I moved to a county that has no help for me and my illness. I thought, rashly, that it wouldn't matter, that I would be ok because I was with him. And while he is great, he is gone most of every day. So I sit here alone because I have nowhere to go and no one to see.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2) Current nature of the blockage<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">8 Swords, 4 Wands, Ace Pents<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi78LzYa0MGZwEfCAQ7MxBtnePGElpIHMg9lM2o-n5RI23zJkoWCKLTeeVLtIfeJnmH64TG-romWrIOOpI7oJdACiffvX5lPxDlWSfthkYhemATd7IkuUMoAyC0o6sXrUSFnRcIEz70bb7-/s1600-h/0210-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi78LzYa0MGZwEfCAQ7MxBtnePGElpIHMg9lM2o-n5RI23zJkoWCKLTeeVLtIfeJnmH64TG-romWrIOOpI7oJdACiffvX5lPxDlWSfthkYhemATd7IkuUMoAyC0o6sXrUSFnRcIEz70bb7-/s200/0210-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301366919038586786" border="0" /></a>Current nature.... The 4 and that ace show lots of stability, which I have, but it has surrounded me and left me stuck right in the middle there. Can you see it? I've let myself become trapped. I started it, I saw it was happening, and yet I did nothing about it. It isn't all that bad, but my anxiety is so bad right now. I hadn't thought it was because of me.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3) Resultant effects of blockage<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">HP, Strength, 2 Wands<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZK0m-RqSDaXcDBlFoKWsW5k5xU7_QRpysHs0yvaPtflh_Obz21VNTQv_l5bMKPmV8wwHFpqgVojXO6He9ArRAI0aeLk5OYHfOWN4gKv7CruJp1CEssvTwuSrGDDhzFMavc3cC_JVFLt9h/s1600-h/0210-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZK0m-RqSDaXcDBlFoKWsW5k5xU7_QRpysHs0yvaPtflh_Obz21VNTQv_l5bMKPmV8wwHFpqgVojXO6He9ArRAI0aeLk5OYHfOWN4gKv7CruJp1CEssvTwuSrGDDhzFMavc3cC_JVFLt9h/s200/0210-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301367057826766258" border="0" /></a>Balance.... Strange that these are all twos, Strength is 11 in this deck. I am completely unbalanced now. There is no escape for me with the things that normally brought me escape. There is no weekly going to mom's to do laundry, there is no weekly watching my nephew. There is no weekly going out to my favorite place. This is quite eye opening.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4) Advice on how to clear blockage and move on<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Knight Swords, Ace Wands, 9 Pents<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOtN2uBW5VjsqX-dn5CGkdtQfQS5nivkI_phwLHonpW4plbMqY5Yh0D6G4C-28Z5nL971UlZ3NJf98gLSZYeUJJsimqwCMzkzwFq0uXeazyGNHjZ8FXiKEbT6_y723u0HBQTlXQ9ZWTIU/s1600-h/0210-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOtN2uBW5VjsqX-dn5CGkdtQfQS5nivkI_phwLHonpW4plbMqY5Yh0D6G4C-28Z5nL971UlZ3NJf98gLSZYeUJJsimqwCMzkzwFq0uXeazyGNHjZ8FXiKEbT6_y723u0HBQTlXQ9ZWTIU/s200/0210-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301367226543494482" border="0" /></a>Now the important part. The knight... what is he telling me. Decision? Perhaps, that Ace is the move, and that will lead me out. Then I can be the 9 and take some pleasure in my life, begin to rely on myself instead of feeling that I need so much. But the way she's leaning and to the other side, it looks like that is what will happen after the Ace and Knight.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I guess that echos the other reading which told me to wait it out. If only I had the strength to start packing already....<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-34107208961918853142009-02-09T22:58:00.004-05:002009-02-11T15:30:05.751-05:00Experiment 1 Part 2<div style="text-align: center;">*****edit*****<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I've taken another look at these cards as one single image to try to get a better sense of this.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_cBZbat2k4effDBFVkCjHYwLXgeA1wH7yNkpaTTkw6oNo2DWuS-Cg2xCxgc7lSZDa6_UXf137LiUJYZUd3mJdVug_SnzzOcUZV8_QZnch9zAV4dBrOwzQ89f6KzSTogD6G03Ayo3ToM-Q/s1600-h/Exp1-2-Combined.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_cBZbat2k4effDBFVkCjHYwLXgeA1wH7yNkpaTTkw6oNo2DWuS-Cg2xCxgc7lSZDa6_UXf137LiUJYZUd3mJdVug_SnzzOcUZV8_QZnch9zAV4dBrOwzQ89f6KzSTogD6G03Ayo3ToM-Q/s200/Exp1-2-Combined.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301633554852869266" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">What I notice is that Death cuts out of the Empress and the 4 Pents. And then, in the opposite corner is the 7 and 8. So there is clear separation between these.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">With the 7 and 8 I see fighting and reaching higher, while the 4 seems to be ok with where he is, mingling with the Empress and Death. I'm now going to pull some more cards to give me more images in each position.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1. Why have I been bestowed with The Empress as my Soul Card?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">8 Cups/Chariot<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtZGk2DOU2UI8sxC-lAsX7IHJhL1AtOLQD3027A9ADKqlJ7wqygA6_a2vYYk1JQxcjJPkwKx09ikuOXW364tuK6wC2czugTzhl7Ji4ZchQa4frI12kRQnTiv5QRPBxkpC78Zy8ehWwxI8B/s1600-h/0102-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtZGk2DOU2UI8sxC-lAsX7IHJhL1AtOLQD3027A9ADKqlJ7wqygA6_a2vYYk1JQxcjJPkwKx09ikuOXW364tuK6wC2czugTzhl7Ji4ZchQa4frI12kRQnTiv5QRPBxkpC78Zy8ehWwxI8B/s200/0102-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301636122272972290" border="0" /></a>I think it is part of the plan for this life. I think the struggles were put in place before my birth and I am either working off something very bad, or I am working towards something good. Either way, it is tied to my advancement. I tend to think I am working off something bad because the 8 is off the dark horse. But that may just be a coincidence.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2. What gifts does it bring me?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">7 Wands/Devil<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrd1thFhqkJZ32bB-TYiIsqElHI8qsiAb78NRWimQqERdenQoMZbNC_zItwZV_f-e8TaWRcLR5Wb_skWdZp10xt25m8h3LkPMi3Yc9LUbDn7dKmPAHFlaUzXCACriOQBQ_rSRmYXMZ79J1/s1600-h/0102-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrd1thFhqkJZ32bB-TYiIsqElHI8qsiAb78NRWimQqERdenQoMZbNC_zItwZV_f-e8TaWRcLR5Wb_skWdZp10xt25m8h3LkPMi3Yc9LUbDn7dKmPAHFlaUzXCACriOQBQ_rSRmYXMZ79J1/s200/0102-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301636274688892786" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I think it keeps me bound to this life. And by that I mean, that I haven't killed myself yet. I continue to fight my illness, which is probably why the Empress is my soul card. Perhaps only she has what it takes to continue on when the outlook is so bleak. I've always felt there was a reason I was here to fight through this. Originally I thought it was going to be my job to fix it for everyone struggling but I've come to realize that I think I just need to survive it. Almost like doing time for whatever it was that I did in a former life.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3. What lessons do I need to learn from it?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Death/2 Cups<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNY-yeNlw0Or6obbPrwVJP6n-kWwSfsqb6YSr-WP4_WHk6jriG0OPOL9sCPxsYIkinDt3UAtwRivBgp0UMY4hgWll-YdNf6lllD6opkEDkBp1ReG78fLjd24EZt6dsq9o1NBlMCZP8of3/s1600-h/0102-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNY-yeNlw0Or6obbPrwVJP6n-kWwSfsqb6YSr-WP4_WHk6jriG0OPOL9sCPxsYIkinDt3UAtwRivBgp0UMY4hgWll-YdNf6lllD6opkEDkBp1ReG78fLjd24EZt6dsq9o1NBlMCZP8of3/s200/0102-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301636434075640450" border="0" /></a>That it is temporary. Death is separating me from something. Which I know is peace. I know that this illness will not follow me in death. Which makes it quite difficult to stay here and fight when I know it would be easier to let go.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4. Where does my soul's journey lead to?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">4 Pents/Wheel<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2bIxP8iR4505BZlyxpergdklQzFlpIdrygMvqaaO2UKkIolxYW3ynd6-sYDIl5sjEqZKp0BAULxdHC-NlrgYfrLCQte6mIiuaKP_yukS-9owy-WVpgmg2eEQ2k-Q14guHAVODaTO5jL_a/s1600-h/0102-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2bIxP8iR4505BZlyxpergdklQzFlpIdrygMvqaaO2UKkIolxYW3ynd6-sYDIl5sjEqZKp0BAULxdHC-NlrgYfrLCQte6mIiuaKP_yukS-9owy-WVpgmg2eEQ2k-Q14guHAVODaTO5jL_a/s200/0102-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301636587614746418" border="0" /></a>To the next round, the next life. Which looks like it will be more peaceful. Whenever I see the 4 of Pents I always hear, "Relax, it's ok." This journey will lead to the next, which leads to the next, and so on and so forth. Which is actually quite comforting. I am here to progress, to turn that wheel. To take my lumps and grow. And so I shall.</div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-65355408803519062072009-02-05T11:50:00.008-05:002009-02-05T14:02:29.890-05:00Three Card<div style="text-align: center;">I've been putting this off because I'm just not feeling it lately. So let's see why that is.....<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Myself - how I feel<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOxfoolMs1Iz_1mrCMcdwIHhmE4sgLBOs-QpWUznRJHUq7DFqYCpLysuRSK06wKZKb7sjipkQmNA27hijqUdHpv04QsH53L1IDvd6mJau2ELL2inmJETcZJAt33qqtXGILh8d5W2_65PM/s1600-h/0205-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOxfoolMs1Iz_1mrCMcdwIHhmE4sgLBOs-QpWUznRJHUq7DFqYCpLysuRSK06wKZKb7sjipkQmNA27hijqUdHpv04QsH53L1IDvd6mJau2ELL2inmJETcZJAt33qqtXGILh8d5W2_65PM/s200/0205-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299384297987995426" border="0" /></a>Well, this is weird. Because I feel like I'm the dude in the boat. And I'm sailing by, with no sail, and I really want to stop and be here. With those two people with the wands and the little one with all those cups. And I'm realizing that I am all 4 people. I have the little part that is so full of love and wants to enjoy her life. But those two parts of me are always battling and for the time being, it looks as if they are in a standstill. Both ready to attack, both anticipating an attack. But for now, there is no movement. And the other me, in the boat, ready to move on. Am I waiting for any of them to join me? I'd like to leave the 2 behind and take the little 9.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Atmosphere -factors at work<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiYc5rD2aNnQwnNatJ44PV3nN4Nc6xH2eLGUpuNICvTO3v5qXE3u0a0Mlz8MYQLwNKVqKpQihHHXW5Bub8BaqC8DlPA9XDQdGKdHjA7NB3xzSyZWSGC9pioNNsjy4KlpP-FDvw8WpOHG5j/s1600-h/0205-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiYc5rD2aNnQwnNatJ44PV3nN4Nc6xH2eLGUpuNICvTO3v5qXE3u0a0Mlz8MYQLwNKVqKpQihHHXW5Bub8BaqC8DlPA9XDQdGKdHjA7NB3xzSyZWSGC9pioNNsjy4KlpP-FDvw8WpOHG5j/s200/0205-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299384413252113010" border="0" /></a>Well the stability I crave, along with my full self (QP) is apparently unable to come to my aid. As is the Knight Wands. I have no idea what he's doing here though. Perhaps this is why I have no energy, no desire to do anything right now.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Energy<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5x8VtR_NcU4v8YCgcllJyhnYUTJHbCkTJevib6fQt1g7jrVzq3ZXNgIGAtp2279niIfH5b4rhLw-PCaMz4cWguLO9F2uT5IFZJ-Nzy7nI0Yg0Hv104Tbv-yXcZAC0xqklg1qTnS0HyD6/s1600-h/0205-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5x8VtR_NcU4v8YCgcllJyhnYUTJHbCkTJevib6fQt1g7jrVzq3ZXNgIGAtp2279niIfH5b4rhLw-PCaMz4cWguLO9F2uT5IFZJ-Nzy7nI0Yg0Hv104Tbv-yXcZAC0xqklg1qTnS0HyD6/s200/0205-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299384532630826482" border="0" /></a>Ok, the energies at work. I hate the Queen of Cups. She just seems so powerless and needy. I suppose I have been overly emotional, actually both of us have been which is weird for us. Loss of something with that 5 Pents, but I can't think of anything but our budget since hubs took a pay cut at work. Oh, that could be the darn food poisoning I've been having for months now. Even the Queen, with her cup, that could be me having to take all the meds. That has definitely sucked out my energy. I think that 7 shows my determination.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Outcome/Advice<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM38XDu9992OlLFPQk4IkKhFzF0F9ZqOW9yoHG4Mw7LB5oONYUbbjchlT0LLKCvf_32WB4pEjblrOqYd6R_oFaF7NXy_BEYGYXxQJDg1QAx4UOorlyLCJ2DP7CWTpX0pmacxdF64rsg9LD/s1600-h/0205-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM38XDu9992OlLFPQk4IkKhFzF0F9ZqOW9yoHG4Mw7LB5oONYUbbjchlT0LLKCvf_32WB4pEjblrOqYd6R_oFaF7NXy_BEYGYXxQJDg1QAx4UOorlyLCJ2DP7CWTpX0pmacxdF64rsg9LD/s200/0205-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299384697564592514" border="0" /></a>Yay! Moon, Tower, Page Wands. What this says to me is that these things are temporary. The moon is all about trickery, things not being what they seem. The tower is the truth. And that page is like a little torch. Like a giant thunderstorm that knocks out the electricity, he and Iwill be sitting in the dark with a tiny little candle. Talking and cuddling until the world rights itself. He will take care of me when I need it and I him when he needs it. This is just a bump and it will right itself. I just have to hang on and wait it out.</div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-18051095941483169842009-01-28T14:12:00.000-05:002009-01-28T15:27:16.706-05:00Another X Appeal....<div style="text-align: center;">This is anonymous. And I'm going to read just off the images I get, but I will put down which cards they are so you can do your own interpts if/when mine are totally off!! Let's commence with the dirty innuendos!!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1.) Physical features about you that they find attractive<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnRNW6s01ciOtXK9LVflSQ-_MTZUTWzLmHzx1itCArMSSWuXK9j9gPQNeaPoh3C4i43s5KdWJwl-Gl3kI5g6meLm-UC25pLeBPv-ZCPJkTr5hrSfiUo1fnJRPJnZ-7eu_7gwFscjdFo9ej/s1600-h/01-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 147px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnRNW6s01ciOtXK9LVflSQ-_MTZUTWzLmHzx1itCArMSSWuXK9j9gPQNeaPoh3C4i43s5KdWJwl-Gl3kI5g6meLm-UC25pLeBPv-ZCPJkTr5hrSfiUo1fnJRPJnZ-7eu_7gwFscjdFo9ej/s200/01-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296433383838355490" border="0" /></a>Temperance and the High Priestess. Well, that half moon could be a few different body parts, I'd have to guess the booty first though. And there also is that open book, spread open, if you will. Although, that rainbow could be pointing to something as well, maybe the Pot O' Gold?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2.) Emotional/personality features about you that they find attractive<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXhIsi_J8u8MFvlDfPkUTTUQwCeC3LpMyA8Mxlqjr6jrm-EhGozrajN5r0uDO3LOeOKgkdKoc1q-K1w-RZ5Mg5_0Yjt5QiGR9_frScwwxCV7onBo3qV2pjKyuE5yHeN0vOFYyjEz0aQOP/s1600-h/01-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXhIsi_J8u8MFvlDfPkUTTUQwCeC3LpMyA8Mxlqjr6jrm-EhGozrajN5r0uDO3LOeOKgkdKoc1q-K1w-RZ5Mg5_0Yjt5QiGR9_frScwwxCV7onBo3qV2pjKyuE5yHeN0vOFYyjEz0aQOP/s200/01-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296433671987381138" border="0" /></a>Fool and 10 Cups. I'd say that not only are you able to find joy, you are quick to share it with your partner. How cute is that? You are able to celebrate even the mundane, making it exquisite and special because the two of you are able to experience it together.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3.) What you have that they want or find sexy<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5WR-repEu2562ItlBVBcxMzNvz2ekymkc2DVhTA9mbJgp9DXCUwp6CzHkkN7WiOh67UmcAnhyV2VgQ1RuSn83n8Sov-KnofSptaxciInIDHqxqqSZ6LXfMHyjzwE6_h6nCh8bHxhPzOy/s1600-h/01-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5WR-repEu2562ItlBVBcxMzNvz2ekymkc2DVhTA9mbJgp9DXCUwp6CzHkkN7WiOh67UmcAnhyV2VgQ1RuSn83n8Sov-KnofSptaxciInIDHqxqqSZ6LXfMHyjzwE6_h6nCh8bHxhPzOy/s200/01-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296433794390797746" border="0" /></a>6 Wands and Page Pentacles. I think the page is pointing to your playfulness which comes in a form that is stable, never dangerous or hostile. I think that 6 is either you taking the lead and/or being very good at what you do.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4.) What you need to work on to become more attractive to them<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3hNGI7S386e0RJnTyqBhgy9_BOEaYKpCugICzfH1Y1jObkvwkK3QlSW50OS_0GZFoxA0EZSW90RDedfklgz8mbYlcQJ6pkUHxdsWEkAN78uDgbFIesRovGAhdPOVrgrjAW6c_TqseB0ko/s1600-h/01-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 147px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3hNGI7S386e0RJnTyqBhgy9_BOEaYKpCugICzfH1Y1jObkvwkK3QlSW50OS_0GZFoxA0EZSW90RDedfklgz8mbYlcQJ6pkUHxdsWEkAN78uDgbFIesRovGAhdPOVrgrjAW6c_TqseB0ko/s200/01-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296433953743049874" border="0" /></a>7 Cups and 9 Pents. This image is hard to see but it looks as if the woman of the 9 is almost lounging on our man of the 7. I am not quite sure what to make of this. I'd like to say that the 7 is daydreaming while the 9 is ready to be pampered.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5.) Your overall sex appeal (how attractive you are to them)<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqz5r9BQKIJvBId3J9qSmpCvCDvDFWBv-9TBstzdBguKeBtXg3p5co8CZBpObVgy0wXMpWZp36E4AYnJPbJ5MOuGMqkEHTI4FB3b_f15NNgbM6s3gNUCjxwKUDFebGEfyxJLGMfahyphenhyphen8CHV/s1600-h/01-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqz5r9BQKIJvBId3J9qSmpCvCDvDFWBv-9TBstzdBguKeBtXg3p5co8CZBpObVgy0wXMpWZp36E4AYnJPbJ5MOuGMqkEHTI4FB3b_f15NNgbM6s3gNUCjxwKUDFebGEfyxJLGMfahyphenhyphen8CHV/s200/01-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296434156715221794" border="0" /></a>6 and 9 Swords. You are so sexy that your partner feels they have been hit by a boat! Look at how the dude in the boat is like, "huh?" <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6.) Their overall sex appeal (how attractive they are to you)<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJP5CGQGKCuhubYenCGCFOpxGgdnqyKHCe-3vjmrDfwTaWLOa2BYNs9OspWKm-JmDORhxe54vhpPUsxKoVQNHv_sZahbOYf2eOrFiH8hE9DKTBEZYPM-ylqHqEvaPk9IL2Ku-fTBhm7ItX/s1600-h/01-06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJP5CGQGKCuhubYenCGCFOpxGgdnqyKHCe-3vjmrDfwTaWLOa2BYNs9OspWKm-JmDORhxe54vhpPUsxKoVQNHv_sZahbOYf2eOrFiH8hE9DKTBEZYPM-ylqHqEvaPk9IL2Ku-fTBhm7ItX/s200/01-06.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296434289672745234" border="0" /></a>Moon and 5 Swords. What attracts you to your partner is their third eye... no, wait that can't be right.... Some of these are just not as much fun as the other ones.... There is a lot of slowness in this image for me, and the purple is soothing. I feel like, no matter what happens to you during your normal daily routine, you can leave it all behind when you are with your partner. And that is attractive to you. Perhaps the way you are seen through their eyes has some affect on you.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">7.) What they need to work on to become more attractive to you<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrsXZqt6uhR3_xiIfS6Gnw73SGnkJrfnbid0ecvxHmObrYfU9orAdta4HC6uIm3EdHegCSdjAKE0oUUZPobc-M_twech32pThrfHyeFxek_nETyQMiC-7ZwWGDHehUMu25COtBvZMnmv9/s1600-h/01-07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrsXZqt6uhR3_xiIfS6Gnw73SGnkJrfnbid0ecvxHmObrYfU9orAdta4HC6uIm3EdHegCSdjAKE0oUUZPobc-M_twech32pThrfHyeFxek_nETyQMiC-7ZwWGDHehUMu25COtBvZMnmv9/s200/01-07.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296434462117975346" border="0" /></a>Death and 8 Wands. How fun is this image? Perhaps being more open to change and being more spontaneous would make them more attractive to you. If there is all that calming from the cards before, here we see a need for a bit more fire.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">8.) What they have that you want or find sexy<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBvhpiEf1Dj8_EFw1w30BswjLbqnWbL-8SeNYyiiy3fXV_q7p4TY64Fsi_OI3tHSEtYyaiX9xb_XymWzzLhUKDpXHVjncIZPof6U5I10-ztmBiLVJceaB8r90_toSwY9fO259nRhRBx3Sr/s1600-h/01-08.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBvhpiEf1Dj8_EFw1w30BswjLbqnWbL-8SeNYyiiy3fXV_q7p4TY64Fsi_OI3tHSEtYyaiX9xb_XymWzzLhUKDpXHVjncIZPof6U5I10-ztmBiLVJceaB8r90_toSwY9fO259nRhRBx3Sr/s200/01-08.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296434614855641378" border="0" /></a>Hermit and Queen Cups. This would suggest that your partner is quite loving and is a beacon for you. Which is kind of what I was getting at in the Moon. This sure is some match!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">9.) Emotional/personality features that you find attractive about them<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiNYhDkUpYTO5WxLbww5jqwAx9jzI8jCi-9wI27suacO7JJDL7KdfgpNrk8IMWNbSsWXXXm_4xVz0KrBp2mvSR1sgOHrjY4bZlrNg64rvcD6_dtrFKhewirXtt6G0EFq5_85DWTd910803/s1600-h/01-09.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiNYhDkUpYTO5WxLbww5jqwAx9jzI8jCi-9wI27suacO7JJDL7KdfgpNrk8IMWNbSsWXXXm_4xVz0KrBp2mvSR1sgOHrjY4bZlrNg64rvcD6_dtrFKhewirXtt6G0EFq5_85DWTd910803/s200/01-09.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296434812024493170" border="0" /></a>Queen Pents and 4 Cups. I'm wondering if your partner is what drives you. Or if they are able to pull you up when you need it. See, I can't tell if these two images are two separate entities or two sides of your partner. Well, I'm sure you will know better than I do. Perhaps your partner is able to show you what you could have, you just need a little prodding. And that, in turn, allows you to reach your full potential.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">10.) Physical features that you find attractive about them<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMzOqkO4cSbXtjnnOzbYRSYg2tk0tGSgJGf_HKnq9SRP-dkxXgHzdQvJdn_1m7ckXmiKnNrqSXumqja9wtfpBYlmOmRcsl3jDiKkg8GVFItKy_el5xLn2YvD7E9wSyxEGjwhdTyNRB2GN/s1600-h/01-10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMzOqkO4cSbXtjnnOzbYRSYg2tk0tGSgJGf_HKnq9SRP-dkxXgHzdQvJdn_1m7ckXmiKnNrqSXumqja9wtfpBYlmOmRcsl3jDiKkg8GVFItKy_el5xLn2YvD7E9wSyxEGjwhdTyNRB2GN/s200/01-10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296435002299542834" border="0" /></a>4 Wands and 5 Cups. Those wands up there look like arms and legs and the negative space looks like a body to me. We also have that gentle curve in between the two figures. I don't know what that means though. And why is that other guy all off to the side like that? Perhaps your partner does something, like meditate or yoga, that makes them more appealing to you. I have no idea. The little guy looks like he's posing.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Anyway, hope that was fun for you at least! :D<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-13431901440307240432009-01-27T23:38:00.000-05:002009-01-28T00:33:11.722-05:00Grandmother Moon<div style="text-align: center;">Using hub's scanner since mine is not compatible with vista, darn it.<br /><br />So this is the spread I do every month, usually around New Moon, but I'm a bit late this month.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Waxing Moon ~ growing stronger<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlwiTKbP-rvarTxlWpvb3NZABAjC938YOu3DRfAB0eVzNCAbapJm7wcZ7ltXn-KNDYGPyodzjmOHghGuiZ_h9Wwt0weTrZ75voE1OlxngbMUAgJ-mRopd1BS_GWtbYrQCUnK6ArJ0S-Z5/s1600-h/0128-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlwiTKbP-rvarTxlWpvb3NZABAjC938YOu3DRfAB0eVzNCAbapJm7wcZ7ltXn-KNDYGPyodzjmOHghGuiZ_h9Wwt0weTrZ75voE1OlxngbMUAgJ-mRopd1BS_GWtbYrQCUnK6ArJ0S-Z5/s200/0128-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296210469733402802" border="0" /></a>How positive is that! It looks like my will to leave this all behind me will be reinforced by the Devil. I'm hoping getting ready to move will improve my anxiety. Once I change counties, help will be available to me again. So only one more month of no help! I think this is telling me I am closer to my goal.<br /></div><br />Full Moon ~ a ripe opportunity<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjust2vCK9wTw6G_6umOExOlEALY8czGOZyCjxvnfeW4Wwbisj0sZxWo_QOJz7wNymigHMBqyS_7Hzhv1_3kHLkzm6MJDgbl-CHl6rZAyPUxZc37WggMka5PT53-4flZXLBxPbd7s-BmSps/s1600-h/0128-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjust2vCK9wTw6G_6umOExOlEALY8czGOZyCjxvnfeW4Wwbisj0sZxWo_QOJz7wNymigHMBqyS_7Hzhv1_3kHLkzm6MJDgbl-CHl6rZAyPUxZc37WggMka5PT53-4flZXLBxPbd7s-BmSps/s200/0128-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296211450611020610" border="0" /></a>I like how the Magician and the of Cups look here. It looks like the hubs and I will be able to reconnect and stop the bits of fighting we've been experiencing lately. It looks like we will be able to put all that behind us and get back to us. Which would be nice.<br /></div><br />Waning Moon ~ what will be fading<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIdiKH_g7xVb7BIYwSr__Zmqs1Gtk6pGZDZjQ3Ym_AgY-7IMwc-rzCPHqm5wF7su0RRVNiLQjPM0UKPzq9TW5c24z0RW-QHZrtfRb4VUiAVRs3lR-CVVuilM9EyPrN6DNC3AFWde-9YQXJ/s1600-h/0128-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIdiKH_g7xVb7BIYwSr__Zmqs1Gtk6pGZDZjQ3Ym_AgY-7IMwc-rzCPHqm5wF7su0RRVNiLQjPM0UKPzq9TW5c24z0RW-QHZrtfRb4VUiAVRs3lR-CVVuilM9EyPrN6DNC3AFWde-9YQXJ/s200/0128-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296212300990615362" border="0" /></a>I am confused by this image. The simplest thing I can think of is that my enthusiasm for moving will quickly fade once I remember all that goes into the entire process. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the thought of leaving this place.<br /></div><br />New Moon ~ where release is needed<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5kImrUTNBQ9rhtNl17CJcO2zhn23d-hQeO0buq8BliVbvTPguhOI7JOIW0IC43Azgto9xuvJKVov7yEOAYPLUjL2SaRkg2UHoDL3OjFHC3kisd1DQztSFxAFu8aodeHI0xuZL4cZl2HtR/s1600-h/0128-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5kImrUTNBQ9rhtNl17CJcO2zhn23d-hQeO0buq8BliVbvTPguhOI7JOIW0IC43Azgto9xuvJKVov7yEOAYPLUjL2SaRkg2UHoDL3OjFHC3kisd1DQztSFxAFu8aodeHI0xuZL4cZl2HtR/s200/0128-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296212528185679794" border="0" /></a>I find it odd that not only do we have the dual horses, we also have double tens. One of air and one of earth. Now, this makes perfect sense to me so let's see if I can put it into words. My head is at odds, all the time. There is the thinking part and there is the here and now reality part. However, I did not need the cards to tell me that I need to find a way to get the two to work together. I love how the light horse is with the Pents and the dark horse is with the Swords.<br /><br />Blue Moon ~ unique experience that brings insight<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1y9dzYyN2ELT6ctiOkgoruy_mi_-YXWh9o99FH4deiwu-EEJ490snDwxNf0I4MIgjL26Xz-O_nJKJmaPnG94u9frVLDnDYytdbeMxzIGR4id0GStOeOeK2quydLxftDbezPBdJBBlR5Vq/s1600-h/0128-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1y9dzYyN2ELT6ctiOkgoruy_mi_-YXWh9o99FH4deiwu-EEJ490snDwxNf0I4MIgjL26Xz-O_nJKJmaPnG94u9frVLDnDYytdbeMxzIGR4id0GStOeOeK2quydLxftDbezPBdJBBlR5Vq/s200/0128-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296208643929207538" border="0" /></a>I think I know when this experience will be, at that charity event I'm doing, but I'm not quite sure what these cards are trying to tell me. It looks like I will have a good time, raise some money, and hopefully can tame my inner beast enough to not let anyone piss me off!<br /></div></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Dark Moon ~ what to watch out for<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIFIMy2z3ITTwyzEUdB15GnNyFhvxzYa1TU32dnbIiPGXokoSvUSzMN_h1oM8kyRZcv5W6bSD_VfQQ291ZFH-pS6J9GLFTHd3B8RFvgarPEA-5Mozz4obBbYwSMmh57123TDcjSPZ3saeF/s1600-h/0128-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 138px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIFIMy2z3ITTwyzEUdB15GnNyFhvxzYa1TU32dnbIiPGXokoSvUSzMN_h1oM8kyRZcv5W6bSD_VfQQ291ZFH-pS6J9GLFTHd3B8RFvgarPEA-5Mozz4obBbYwSMmh57123TDcjSPZ3saeF/s200/0128-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296207651881819298" border="0" /></a>Well, beware of people with cups? Am I blind or is this suggesting someone wants to steal my man? Perhaps it is to remind me to pay attention to him lest someone else catches his eye. I don't know how or when that would happen since he's either here or at work. And he works with all boys. :D<br /><br />I have another reading to do but will do it during the day tomorrow.<br /></div>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-89541496565707813542009-01-21T02:47:00.001-05:002009-01-21T02:54:25.239-05:00Charity Event...Just a quick post that I hope some of my fellow readers in the Cleveland area will see. Or others will push them to!<br /><br />I've put up a thread in the tarot meetings forum. <br /><br />February 14, 2009. 10pm to 2am at the Chamber in Lakewood, which is next to Cleveland. Proceeds go to Juvenile Diabetes.<br /><br />I am looking for a few readers to help me this year as I was swamped last year and am not looking forward to that again. I will be setting up at about 9pm. I am not expecting anyone to stay the entire night but even an hour would help me out immensely. Last year I lost my voice and only took one break and still had a line of people when I stopped reading at last call. Think of all the money that could have gone to those kids.<br /><br />Please help me out or direct your ohio reading friends to me. I will take any kind of diviners!<br /><br />The club is safe and friendly. I've been going there for more than a decade and I know everyone that works there. You will be protected at all times if you feel you need to be. I can also find big men to walk you to and from your car, the parking lot is right outside.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-12808679546576252032009-01-20T13:26:00.000-05:002009-01-20T14:08:40.031-05:00Transparent Cross...I scrapped the last one as I just didn't care. I think I will keep to small spreads so I stay interested.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFGXdp2A3lrC3YQqfdRTk8iP9bOYo2Ovx0z9-9NncfmethzLVzgVuoOB5dlU8GptIPYNonhvvd1zJo0F_4PWzNRtzxCzqAqbUZsQT_MQEqxfg-SmO1ewBhbGVM6eO5helkCX8RFt8j9FfF/s1600-h/Cross-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFGXdp2A3lrC3YQqfdRTk8iP9bOYo2Ovx0z9-9NncfmethzLVzgVuoOB5dlU8GptIPYNonhvvd1zJo0F_4PWzNRtzxCzqAqbUZsQT_MQEqxfg-SmO1ewBhbGVM6eO5helkCX8RFt8j9FfF/s200/Cross-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293454722183735458" border="0" /></a>The central card, 4 of Swords, has been following me lately. It currently fits as I think I am finally recovering from an almost 7 week illness. I've been allowing myself to sleep all I want to. Last night I slept from 3 am to 1 pm. I've also been having very vivid sexual dreams, which is quite strange for me. Perhaps that is my brain signaling that my body is working its way back to health and life. Which is fabulous since I have been wondering if I was going to make it through this. So, yes, right now I am resting and recuperating.<br /><br />The West brings us the Moon, which goes very well with my disturbing dreams but promises that as my body heals, so will the mind. So just ride it out, it won't take long. You are healing now and quite safe. It also warns, like I don't know this, of emotional ups and downs as the body heals. Yeah, my hubs is loving this part!<br /><br />To the East, 9 Cups tells me that it is ok to let the family worry about me for a change. It is also reminding me of how much my mother worries so I must keep in contact with her and give her updates so she feels like a good mother and take one more thing off her worry list. I love how this card fits with the 4. That is how my family is, they wait there until I call for them. They are ready but allow me to choose when I need them. Almost like guardian angels.<br /><br />And to the North, health and finances, we have a mighty scary looking Queen of Swords. I don't think I need to worry here. She's got it all taken care of. Holy cow, she really is quite something, isn't she? This is also telling me to be dilligent about my post care, with the pills and shakes I must take to regain my strenght. Last night, the hubs and I were trying to figure out how to get me to drink these awful powdered shakes. We finally came to pudding, which is working quite nicely but my doc would freak out if he knew. But the way I look at it, as long as I'm getting the nutrients in, what else matters? I'm severly underweight so maybe that will help put some weight back on. Plus, I'm looking forward to getting up and having a pudding shake for breakfast!<br /><br />To the South, we have another one that's been following me lately, the 6 of Wands. How nice of him to show up in the position of his power! So my will and spirit are focused on being victorious, right they are. Perhaps with him and that Queen, I've nothing to worry about. I need my pudding, of course.<br /><br />Oh my doc would just be so mad at me! He told me no chocolate! And I was thinking, "Yeah right. There's no way that tastes good enough to not need chocolate." There isn't any reason other than he wants only healthy things because I've not been eating for so long. Like to quickly rebuild my reserves before I go nuts on the junk food. But I have to tell you. The shake is so nasty I won't eat it. Not a bit. So last night Patrick found a thing of pudding and dumped it right in the blender. Then he made me taste it. And I ate it! So that's our answer. At lest I will get the needed nutrients in my body where they can do what they do. And I can eat pudding!Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-51768418823643671592009-01-16T23:54:00.000-05:002009-01-17T00:56:05.722-05:00Illusion and ClarityWell, I'm in the midst of problems at home and I'm not sure if it's a stress thing, since we are trying to move, or if it's time for me to skadaddle out of here on my own. Now, I'm not sure if I would help me to do a relationship spread or look more into me....<br /><br />So I'm still deciding. I think I will do the Illusion and Clarity spread first and maybe that will shed some light on the whole thing.<br /><br />The illusion that the Querent has about the situation<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVS8rZ-r2PBwSRdF-QsYIUafcdUkmrdpWOUfvyQOihWeZor5KSHomJl-Mm3SXuooWyoe0spmw0n9l0KVuGa_akei5xghzATcJhU2qNVf4LCkmsPxqxHSfFaHHLvqKn3QQ0_IAieYTQbXUy/s1600-h/0117-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVS8rZ-r2PBwSRdF-QsYIUafcdUkmrdpWOUfvyQOihWeZor5KSHomJl-Mm3SXuooWyoe0spmw0n9l0KVuGa_akei5xghzATcJhU2qNVf4LCkmsPxqxHSfFaHHLvqKn3QQ0_IAieYTQbXUy/s200/0117-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292135530245059026" border="0" /></a>Well, at first glance, I notice 2 cards are flipped. The Knight and Temperance have been flipped. So this way his left hand is in the fire and the cup is offered from his right hand. This is strange because he had a "talk" about marriage again today. I've also talked about moving out today as well. I was in an awful mood. Ok, so this is my illuision... I think these cards switched to show him on the side of the dark horse. Because on the side of the light horse is the water and I see this side as good. Now here he is on the bad side, with me and dealing with me, all on fire. I fear he will realize that he doesn't need to be here and he will take his cup and leave for the good side, with a more "normal" woman. And I can't say that I would blame him either. I don't want to be here on the bad side and he certainly doesn't need to be here.<br /><br />The true reality of the situation<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqViSr7JNEbAJcVmBIApUyH1TFDnRYqJ82XhME3KQH_V9tyypuyT6UsAeqG8BM6GSvd8-LEc1dCG7dICST-NiOWth9ywBHzC37JUpycwUFmwO4F-OGvdKShQy2EhTJ4DYar1NCLQV2XzZ/s1600-h/0117-02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqViSr7JNEbAJcVmBIApUyH1TFDnRYqJ82XhME3KQH_V9tyypuyT6UsAeqG8BM6GSvd8-LEc1dCG7dICST-NiOWth9ywBHzC37JUpycwUFmwO4F-OGvdKShQy2EhTJ4DYar1NCLQV2XzZ/s200/0117-02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292135529282813266" border="0" /></a>All 3 of these cards are flipped and I can't say it makes much difference except for how the Phoenix and the Lion are facing. So, the reality... Well, the 9 of cups is there, oh so close, maybe it just needs for me to get a handle on my beast, my anxiety, and to put it behind me, hence Judgement. Perhaps the reality is that he is obviously still waiting for me to do these things. And maybe some of that reality is that it can be done.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Forces at work in the situation, which will help and/or hinder the Querent<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8eytM01GzcGRx_20Di1pU_2zlJb_c9364HaKUznawhL2nJwpzOG807inDXgDI_6gHiYJPwKhGZQjqoJuBYXwif9byYkk_AQlQtILigI_he5lCUM6CVqKmsjB-9L5vKHwbhh85GpPgoS9m/s1600-h/0117-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8eytM01GzcGRx_20Di1pU_2zlJb_c9364HaKUznawhL2nJwpzOG807inDXgDI_6gHiYJPwKhGZQjqoJuBYXwif9byYkk_AQlQtILigI_he5lCUM6CVqKmsjB-9L5vKHwbhh85GpPgoS9m/s200/0117-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292135533451201810" border="0" /></a>Now only Death is flipped and that brings the scythe right down into the 3 of pents. This really says to me that I'm on the road to my recovery. Death and Wheel both point to that for me. And that little guy in the 3 is offering up a pentacle to death. What this also says to me is that whatever will be will be. Which is something I truly believe. I can't say that this relationship is meant to be forever because I don't believe anything is meant to be forever. But I see this also as meaning that if I work it, it will work. There are forces at work here that I may not know about.<br /><br /><br /><br />The past<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilXygFAemY7fQy4dFIGsQkpxwNI9C8bW_tmy-cTweRcvGblhokW8IA7tk4FdM1hadNoACo-AbERXW1_bA1bYWCErSG1oF7_HoDo8I1SIykIEwPPKfhAKUpcP2Jn0RC3LB5dnxpKB-dJ2t/s1600-h/0117-04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilXygFAemY7fQy4dFIGsQkpxwNI9C8bW_tmy-cTweRcvGblhokW8IA7tk4FdM1hadNoACo-AbERXW1_bA1bYWCErSG1oF7_HoDo8I1SIykIEwPPKfhAKUpcP2Jn0RC3LB5dnxpKB-dJ2t/s200/0117-04.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292136125807371954" border="0" /></a>This one is a bit tricky. Temperance and Wheel around the 9 of Cups. This is quite fitting for me in the romance department. I've stayed in the middle of the road, never getting to close and pretty much staying with a partner until I feel it's time to move on. Or when they wanted more than I was willing to give. This is the first time I haven't felt that need to move on.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The present<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPem6nXV_3UvSDZ3X5hgjFKPX03t_MlT2lxrYBZgd7Qhhi8dnsu31SPq3wPdSLtlPlHH41oPS0gGpviRIQ8r9N2iyLiGpf0aztOvch04LUQTU1vqhpigbtxR4sIFP5Ot82ZWssTWt_w-OE/s1600-h/0117-05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPem6nXV_3UvSDZ3X5hgjFKPX03t_MlT2lxrYBZgd7Qhhi8dnsu31SPq3wPdSLtlPlHH41oPS0gGpviRIQ8r9N2iyLiGpf0aztOvch04LUQTU1vqhpigbtxR4sIFP5Ot82ZWssTWt_w-OE/s200/0117-05.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292136127230297330" border="0" /></a>I almost feel like this image is telling me to stop fighting. That with some love and care none of this will be an issue. This one has me confused most of all.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The future<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0l4Ffzm67KtrBEEHiNgp9zqXRzkPlF2wkBxR-lO0OrXvNYUTbUTpCV7B-BcYULVgO8UmXz_Z6rfkLuyPZaXoCuBPmmToK-Dkc4Jr-DJ1I2EtIIO61ijreCnE5kG_eyuzZhtbhhgjSFUsh/s1600-h/0117-06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0l4Ffzm67KtrBEEHiNgp9zqXRzkPlF2wkBxR-lO0OrXvNYUTbUTpCV7B-BcYULVgO8UmXz_Z6rfkLuyPZaXoCuBPmmToK-Dkc4Jr-DJ1I2EtIIO61ijreCnE5kG_eyuzZhtbhhgjSFUsh/s200/0117-06.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292136129468131250" border="0" /></a>Now the Phoenix seems to be encompassing both horses. And there's our little guy again with his pentacle. Perhaps the hard work I put into the Strength from the last set will allow me to become the person I want to be, in regards to my anxiety. Maybe then my horses will allign and all this will be over.<br /><br /><br />And now I'm exhausted so I'm going to let this settle in my head and see what pops out later.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-58508664340215600522009-01-14T01:41:00.000-05:002009-01-14T01:49:44.097-05:00What's New Pussycat......I've been so busy making bags! I've started feeling better today, finally! After almost 6 full weeks of being stricken with a recurring bout of food poisoning. Of course, that may all be due to the fact that I took an ativan. But whatever.<br /><br />So here's what I've made:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg5KlkRFoQRhZ21gvxWa03oLOrYTwGDCvtwpAsJMj3gOqWlsRFSotk9h-B4N66nmM2roZt8NzY_ozXHDjr7cQk44RA-24I0BDuv4Oz6YC9dO4219VdKndGFapYupVpysIUs06VeZ0ZOGwB/s1600-h/SwirlCloth.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg5KlkRFoQRhZ21gvxWa03oLOrYTwGDCvtwpAsJMj3gOqWlsRFSotk9h-B4N66nmM2roZt8NzY_ozXHDjr7cQk44RA-24I0BDuv4Oz6YC9dO4219VdKndGFapYupVpysIUs06VeZ0ZOGwB/s200/SwirlCloth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291036412969958082" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwGdMnF8CKzfFuo-WORoAr7ZHZRvVqxx5csTW4ozxJZBq8w15DLN6TxJQX3bs9xZCGOtrRpTlmEfMIpBcrqZCsLG04jlmRTrG2R2rTNW2hRbEk3E3P_Fl-bsWX-htjFJITRvsmxSKIfuyD/s1600-h/Giger.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwGdMnF8CKzfFuo-WORoAr7ZHZRvVqxx5csTW4ozxJZBq8w15DLN6TxJQX3bs9xZCGOtrRpTlmEfMIpBcrqZCsLG04jlmRTrG2R2rTNW2hRbEk3E3P_Fl-bsWX-htjFJITRvsmxSKIfuyD/s200/Giger.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291036416084296898" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Cf-u4gUq3uPDhcbE0OIDYYw3EP9eQFHeFcPG61HVnlEZoZA4flw_5djn9dpnZPT7-Oc_DPlTajtk3i4s1P51oB5LnAqafJw7p6nJfqe9NCW_f8BUBRnHssuM0kx8MQMpbyA7-pGAwv-K/s1600-h/Transparent.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Cf-u4gUq3uPDhcbE0OIDYYw3EP9eQFHeFcPG61HVnlEZoZA4flw_5djn9dpnZPT7-Oc_DPlTajtk3i4s1P51oB5LnAqafJw7p6nJfqe9NCW_f8BUBRnHssuM0kx8MQMpbyA7-pGAwv-K/s200/Transparent.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291036423059042754" border="0" /></a>The first is a spread cloth off the Llewelyn site (2 feet wide), the middle is a bag for my Giger, and the last, but not least, is the Transparent's new home!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's too late for me to post my reading so I will do it in the morning.<br /><b><br /></b>Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1106890957280168736.post-31291209426410223312009-01-12T00:20:00.000-05:002009-01-12T01:07:08.719-05:00Since the AT is down....I had planned on taking the night off since the hubs is working on my comp. But the AT is down which means I have nothing to keep me from reading the deck. And if I'm going to read I may as well share it here.<br /><br />So, I've done a few cute non-important readings and I really want to see if this deck can really speak, or rather, if I can figure out its language.<br /><br />I decided to do a PPF with my anxiety as the topic. It has been a rough few months for me and I'm about at the end of my rope. This is my last treatment option before I give in and go back to letting a doc experiment on me.<br /><br />The first card, the Past position, is the Emperor, Page of Wands, 6 of Wands. The image looks like this:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA6K2iqVEpwinHyvHl2PKjvqm8tC8AnVWv2s8onZIHJWBq-0voMNiTTH0Y1zvnGUZEFadU6tFpOL3c0otrHz73YVHlXZ4XC8C911YVw0k6Ia8l1lx5GUkHMLhmnAw71UkaB8ZyKmc1qEb/s1600-h/01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 152px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeA6K2iqVEpwinHyvHl2PKjvqm8tC8AnVWv2s8onZIHJWBq-0voMNiTTH0Y1zvnGUZEFadU6tFpOL3c0otrHz73YVHlXZ4XC8C911YVw0k6Ia8l1lx5GUkHMLhmnAw71UkaB8ZyKmc1qEb/s200/01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290283413622166162" border="0" /></a>This says to me that it began when my life was rather stable and controlled. I'm wondering if this has something to do with my father as well. Perhaps genetics? I do believe my mother has more of a role in my development as my father was drunk and not available to me. Well, that isn't true. I was terrified of him and did not like the drinking but exactly how much of that I understood before the age of 12 is unknown to me. The cards are also acknowledging that my disorder did develop at an early age. I was 12 and have very little memories of anything before that first anxiety day. It is strange to me that this little figure that I take to be my psychopath, and by the way, I am amazed that I am able to see him, doesn't look too threatening with wands instead of swords. It looks as though I almost birthed him, wanting someone to... I don't know but it looks as though I'm fetching a wand for him. Perhaps he began as a coping mechanism? I was so young I can't remember. But then, I can't remember 30 seconds ago either.<br /><br />I want to point out right now that this deck is the only one that can make me cry and I've not even had her a week!<br /><br />Second card, Present position, Chariot, Knight Swords, 9 Swords:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBnYZwnzj1G8h2t1O26S2H0d46hEElUMqF1TIzAA4OWgMggZk8dul1aPDwmi-vc3DUVChn0EUEjqTy2-O3o48BsO2ghyphenhyphenqJOZR94NpyWB_T6woTTKo2dD8DFqzAnonKQNEwAkAV551acrSg/s1600-h/02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBnYZwnzj1G8h2t1O26S2H0d46hEElUMqF1TIzAA4OWgMggZk8dul1aPDwmi-vc3DUVChn0EUEjqTy2-O3o48BsO2ghyphenhyphenqJOZR94NpyWB_T6woTTKo2dD8DFqzAnonKQNEwAkAV551acrSg/s200/02.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290283413905688002" border="0" /></a><br />Here you can see my favorite card of the deck, the 9 of Swords. Such a simple yet powerful image and she gets me. I like how she is clearly inside of the white horse. I want to take this to mean that I am quite aware of my situation and that it is as bad as I think it is. Which, of course, what else would I think? It's just that I have studied this disorder for almost 20 years now, I know what I'm doing, but I don't want to get into that.... What is the difference between the two horses and which one am I in? Obviously, I'd rather be split between the two, since I must get them to run together. But that Knight, that is my love! Can you see him? He is always this card. And he is so supportive, being there in the ways he can. Telling me to just keep trying and he will be here to help me. If it weren't for him being here today, I would not have gotten out of bed. I owe him more, I must get better. Maybe he has something to do with the second horse?<br /><br />Third card, Future, 4 Pents, 4 Swords, Justice:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtVQJnDqebWWHASGXSIMcaL6HMTpzRPSKE3bYr6DGsqkpeIZhTs78JNuqkb7OJnSTVm6WABCa4su4q6ySrubhGT33EkuhVNQAdqa7duwuUEJjxTRZe9OLz6SNGbg7urT_6v1nA2pEMQVzm/s1600-h/03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtVQJnDqebWWHASGXSIMcaL6HMTpzRPSKE3bYr6DGsqkpeIZhTs78JNuqkb7OJnSTVm6WABCa4su4q6ySrubhGT33EkuhVNQAdqa7duwuUEJjxTRZe9OLz6SNGbg7urT_6v1nA2pEMQVzm/s200/03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290283419110744546" border="0" /></a>At first glance I immediately think that is my psychopath dead on the floor. Only I know what that 4 really means and if that lil bugger is planning on merely resting to come back even stronger... well.. I will just spit! But that other 4 has his foot on his head! Look at that! I wonder what that means? And am I the green one? Justice is a great card to have here but it still does not give me an answer as to if the anxiety will be gone. Although this image would seem to suggest it will at least be a bit more managable, if only for a short time. Which still doesn't tell me anything as I am worst this day of the year (as in January 11) than any other. I think it has to do with the sun, as I am not as bad throughout the summer. I am noticing that the sword from the Justice card is coming right out of my psychopath, in fact, right out of his groin. That must be of some significance.<br /><br />Maybe I will never know. But it is clear to me that this little deck can take on more complex answers. I just cannot read her clearly as of yet. But she makes trying so much fun. I must make her a very special bag.Sinductionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16127892178809304100noreply@blogger.com4